


In Memoriam

by WildOceanBlue



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Apologies, Avengers Disassembled, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Depressed Avengers, Empathy, F/M, Female Reader, Grief/Mourning, Mutant Powers, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Telekinesis, Telepathy, partially canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:46:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23991760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildOceanBlue/pseuds/WildOceanBlue
Summary: This takes place during the five years between Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame, and a little bit beyond. You've lost Bucky but Steve is there to pick up the pieces. A lot of grief, tears, apologies, and mourning. You, the reader are a main part of the story.Warnings: Brief Suicidal Ideation, Lots of Major Character Deaths, and Some "Language"
Relationships: Avengers Team & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 15
Kudos: 25





	1. Ocean of Tears

**Author's Note:**

> Thank You Reader for taking the time to read this. Also quick reminder of the warning/s mentioned above.

There you were stuck in your memories again. In those five years, the first year was the worst. The air was cleaner, the skies were getting brighter. Wildlife was beginning thrive and nature never looked more beautiful. But you didn’t care about any of that, because as the planet healed, you were dying. You felt his loss like a piece of your soul was missing, yet his spirit still lingered around you. His scent invaded your senses for the first few months. You even thought you could hear his voice, that sound you loved so much. Sometimes you could even feel his touch, but it was only in your dreams. After his scent, voice, and dreams of him began to fade, all you wanted to do was sleep in the hopes of catching a glimpse of him just one more time. You tried to be the person he knew you to be, smiling and putting on a brave face for the world. But there was no world, not anymore. There was only a half of it, and your half was gone along with the rest of them.

Near the end of that first year everything changed. By that time you developed a habit of taking your sleeping pills with any hard liquor you could find. Natasha noticed you were drinking more than ever. She really wanted to reach out to you but she didn’t even know how to talk to you anymore. So she buried herself in work, leading the new and remaining Avengers, and searching for Clint after his sudden departure. She decided to take charge to ease some of Steve’s burden. He had taken the loss of half the universe to heart. He felt it was his responsibility to protect not only the lives in his country, but the entire planet. When he heard of the losses in distant galaxies it piled on to his feeling of failure. He had a shot and he blew it.

That day not only countless of innocent lives were lost but also his team, the people who were his friends and family. The only ones that stuck around besides him were you and Natasha. The others had gone their own ways. When Tony got back from space after being rescued by Carol he retired, Bruce took the loss hard as well and went off to do his own thing, Thor never left New Asgard after he killed Thanos, and Clint vanished without a word. After Clint lost his girlfriend as she faded away in his arms and witnessed the effects of the event on you and Natasha, he had left on his own mission of vengeance. The three of you were very close for a long time and you knew part of him wanted to stay by your and Natasha’s side but he couldn’t bare your pain most of all. Your pain emanated from you because of your empathetic abilities and you could also feel the rage radiating from him as well. You also knew that was reason Nat and Steve kept some distance from you even though they wanted to help you with every fiber of their being. The three of you were left broken.

The day finally came when you over did it with the booze and meds. Steve and Nat hadn’t seen you for a while. Natasha would bring you food everyday but you couldn’t bring yourself to eat little or any of it. That day Steve asked her of your whereabouts to which she replied the same as always. You were holed up in the room you shared with Bucky. They didn’t know you were wallowing in your sorrow thinking drastic thoughts. Part of you knew you would never take that plunge, the part that imagined your boyfriend telling you, “This isn’t you Doll, you’re better than this. Don’t let it end like this.” But then you were left with the part of you that didn’t want the pain anymore.

Most of the voices in your head due to your telepathy may have been silenced the day they all died. However the silence was deafening now, in it’s place was the agony of those left behind. You had always struggled with your emotions but the day you met them, the Team, your new family it got better. Today though you wanted to give up, you wanted to quit. You were back in that pit of despair you had already fallen into a few times in your life. It wasn’t just because you lost him, although that may have been the main reason. It was because like Steve and the others you felt the weight of the world, which was only amplified by your psychic abilities.

At first you didn’t hear his knocks on your bedroom door. You were lost in the struggle of your choice between life and death. You looked at your bottles, and you felt so weak and ashamed of feeling this way. Once you were one of the people the world looked to for help, or to rescue them. And now you couldn’t even save yourself.

“You’re still that person Baby. Just _open_ _the door_.” You could’ve swore you really heard him that time but it was just your imagination. You also heard a pounding sound which began to grow louder and then stomping footsteps nearing your bathroom. In that instant you opened your door and threw yourself into his arms. It was Steve, showing up in the nick of time. He was shocked at first but he held you close to him, rubbing your back attempting to soothe you as you sobbed uncontrollably in his arms. And then you felt his anger not only at you but himself as well. He pulled away with his hands on your shoulders.

“What are you doing to yourself? This needs to stop!” He raised his voice. He wasn’t a mind reader like you, but it was obvious were your thoughts were moments ago due to the evidence on the counter behind you.

“I’m so...sorry…Steve.” you mumbled between sobs without looking at him. You felt his eyes burning into you even though you couldn’t see his face and then you felt the shift in his emotions. He felt your sadness and shame, so then he felt pity and guilt. Several minutes passed in silence between you until he grabbed your chin gently with one of his hands and whispered your name.

“Look at me” he tilted your face up and you saw the emotions in his eyes. “I’m the who should be sorry. I failed you. I failed _him_.” Your about to protest his words when he keeps going. “You remember those few times Buck left on missions without us?” you nod. “He’d always say, ‘Look after _my girl_ , Stevie’ I’d just laugh it off and tell him to hurry back and do it himself.” he pauses taking a breathe. “I should’ve been looking after you this entire time. I’m the one who let this go too far. I’m real sorry.” He finished and you just stared into his sorrowful blue eyes. Eyes that reminded you of Bucky although they were different, and you knew in that moment things needed to change. You couldn’t let either one of them down. Bucky wanted you to be happy more than anything and Steve wanted to do right by both of you.


	2. Breathe Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader recalling the second year after the Snap post Infinity War. Reader starts healing but there are some complications and lots of guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small warning reader continues to be depressed and has negative thoughts, though suicide is not implied this time.  
> FYI: Bold writing with single quotes are telepathic projections  
> While single quote non bold in italics are non projected thoughts.  
> The italics in double quotation has special meaning throughout the story.

The second year things grew complicated. Though you were feeling much more stable. You reconnected with Natasha and were spending more time with her and Steve. Although you and Natasha were more present in each others lives, she still had her work to do, whether it was coordinating missions or searching for Clint. She didn’t have much time or energy to just hangout with you like she used to. Also you didn’t want to burden her with your occasional depressive ruts though they were fewer at this point.

Steve however refused to leave you on your own this time. Your changes in mood rarely affected him anymore. He was always more resistant to your empathy than the rest of the team before any of this. During this time you’d both go to counseling sessions with veterans and survivors of the “Snap.” It was a way for both of you to honor the memory of Sam and Bucky. Steve sometimes spoke to the survivors at these sessions while you listened and tried to ease their pain with your abilities, that was the primary reason Steve wanted you there. He felt that using your abilities once again to help people would heal you as well. Aside from the counseling you’d occasionally get in touch with Bruce and Tony although you rarely saw them in person. Other times you and Steve would go on runs, he’d always insist on keeping pace with you even though you told him it was okay for him to run at his “normal” speed.

_“I’m not leaving you behind”_ he’d say with a smile, sticking by your side. Sometimes you’d watch movies like you both used to with Bucky which in turn caused you both to relive memories of him.

Things were like that for quite sometime until you couldn’t take it anymore. You loved Bucky but his memory still haunted you. Most nights it was nearly impossible to find sleep or peace. Images of him and the others fading before your eyes usually came at this time. You were lying in bed, the bed you shared together. Your thoughts wouldn’t let you sleep and you weren’t drinking or taking pills anymore. You thought to yourself ‘ _how do I move on_.’ Some of the people you and Steve had been counseling were able to do it, but why couldn’t you? They lost people they loved and still found some semblance of peace in this new world, yet you were still holding on to _him._ You knew you were failing him. He wanted your happiness, he always loved your laugh and smile. When was the last time you felt a sliver of joy or smiled? You wondered. Then you found yourself thinking of _‘those blue eyes, those beautiful blues’_ …Steve’s eyes. _‘What the hell?’_ You tried pushing the image of his face from your mind. Yet he remained there and you knew why. 

Steve was the one who got you to smile again. When you were with him, you did feel some form of contentment. You enjoy ed spending time with him. You found yourself looking forward to spending your days with him. This was all normal of course because he was your friend, your best friend in this new life.  _‘Yeah, he’s just your best friend’_ you thought.

That night sleep never came.  A s you tossed and turned so did he. He actually found himself in high spirits. He thought of all the progress you were making. Of your smile, of the hint of joy that radiated from you when you were around. He enjoyed your smile, your perfect pearly teeth, your soft lips. He shook his head  _‘No, no, no. What’s wrong with me? She’s my friend, my best friend’s girl. I’m just looking out for her’_ his thoughts ran through his mind though you didn’t hear them. You were too focused on your own and trying to sleep. 

However after plenty more tossing and turning, enough was enough. You left to the kitchen where you ran into him _._ You both stared at each other wide eyed for a second. You sensed that both of you were feeling nervous, yet you didn’t know why he was.

“Can’t sleep either?” he breaks the silence as he hands you a water bottle. You just nod your head, open it and take a sip. The silence is there again and you look at each other. In that moment you felt his loneliness, his guilt, and his... desire? _‘_ _T_ _hat can’t be right’_ you thought to yourself. _‘Steve can’t feel that way about me…and I can’t feel that way about him.’_ Then you heard it. 

**‘God, why do I feel this way. She’s not mine. I can’t. I CAN’T!’** he turned towards the counter taking a gulp of his water.  **‘Damn it. She probably heard me. She’s probably listening to me right now’** he turned towards you now and you nodded your head. 

“I’m sorry.” you both say at the same time and smile. “You go ahead” he says.

“I didn’t mean to listen in, I’m really sorry” you apologized setting your bottle on the counter.

“I’m just sorry that you heard that. How much of it did you hear?” he asked curiously.

“Enough...and you don’t have to apologize for that.” You look into his eyes before looking at the floor. A few seconds pass before he says anything.

“Maybe we should try to get some rest again. We’ll talk tomorrow” he suggests. You nodded and turned back to where you came from. Yet as you walked the hallway, you remembered leaving your water bottle in the kitchen. So you swiftly turned back only to crash into a muscular body. He gripped your shoulders to keep you steady from the impact. 

“I apologize, I wasn’t expecting you to turn like that. You okay?” you nodded and his gaze roamed from your eyes to your lips as you stood in the dimly lit hall by your doors. You stared into his intense gaze that threatened to swallow you whole. You saw his jaw clench and felt the warmth of his hands on your shoulders, a heat you hadn’t felt in a long time. You both knew at his point you were playing with fire. You felt his hesitation intermingled with his desire. You wanted to turn your door, but instead you leaned in. He did too, you were both now close enough to kiss as you looked up at him. You leaned in more pressing your lips to his neck and heard his sharp intake of breathe.

“Goodnight, Steve” you whispered into his ear. He turned his head slightly, nuzzling your  cheek and planting a feather light kiss.

“Goodnight…” he whispered your name like a prayer. You both pulled away mere millimeters from each others lips. Staring each other down, daring each to make a move or turn away. Suddenly you both leaned in smashing your lips together. Both your lips began to move on their own as one of his palms slid from your jaw to the back of your neck while the other went around your waist pulling closer to him. Your hands clutched his shirt at his chest. Neither of could believe what was happening until you pulled apart to breathe.

“Don’t” you told him knowing he wanted to apologize again. “I need you...I just want to feel good.” You nuzzle his neck. “Please.” You wanted to erase your pain more than anything even if it was just for one night and now his lips and arms were on you again with renewed passion as he leaned you against his door.

“You sure wanna do this?” he sighed gazing intently into your orbs. You answered by recapturing his lips again.

At that time you both agreed it was a one time thing.  After that night you cried at the shame but mostly guilt you felt. You betrayed Bucky. He was gone and you slept with his best friend.  _‘What kind of person does that?’_ Then you realized, he really was gone. He wasn’t going to comeback. He left you. He had no right to feel anything now. You were  becoming irrationally angry at him and yourself. 

You and Steve also lied to yourselves a lot following that night. He even moved out of the Compound to give you space. You both felt it was for the best and you hadn’t spoken to one another since. You were falling into your depression again after Steve moved out. Natasha tried to keep you company but there was only so much she could do in the state she was in herself. The memories and pain were returning and you were affecting her. You felt awful about causing her any misery. You knew you had to get away even for a while. You thought about calling Steve but you didn’t want to risk doing the same to him as Natasha. And after last time, you were aware it wasn’t a good idea to be near him.

So you went to the city in need of shelter and stayed at a hotel. Everything felt so different, there was so much silence which only made you feel more alone. You didn’t know it but when you left, Nat called Steve so he could check on you. She was worried you would relapse into your old patterns and with good reason. You were in your room trying to distract yourself with TV or reading but it was no use. The dark thoughts wanted to creep back in. As you paced your room like a mad-woman you heard a knock. You weren’t expecting anyone so you looked through the door’s lens and saw Steve standing on the other side. Your heart immediately began to race as you leaned your back against the door, debating whether to let him in or not. He showed up again just when you needed him. Like a lifeline, a hero, your salvation. He said your name after knocking a few more times.

“...I know you’re in there. I just want to know that you’re okay. Nat told me how you took off. I should have never left, I am so sorry”  he sounded deeply worried. You really wanted to ease his fears but you remembered the last time you were together. You recalled the shame and guilt, but most of all you recalled the heat and feel of his body. The way he brought you to life that night.

“I can feel you on the other side, just please _open the door_. _I am not leaving you_ until I see you.” he pleaded. At his words, you automatically opened the door. You looked into each other’s eyes feeling a myriad of emotions before you both settled on one. You launched yourselves at one another, holding on for life. You were each other’s lifelines, pulling each other from the depths of the void. As your lips and bodies moved of their own accord you mentally told yourselves you were just keeping each other company. You didn’t belong to him and he didn’t belong to you. You were just friends easing each other’s desolation.

The second year things grew complicated. Though you were feeling much more stable. You reconnected with Natasha and were spending more time with her and Steve. Although you and Natasha were more present in each others lives, she still had her work to do, whether it was coordinating missions or searching for Clint. She didn’t have much time or energy to just hangout with you like she used to. Also you didn’t want to burden her with your occasional depressive ruts though they were fewer at this point.

Steve however refused to leave you on your own this time. Your changes in mood rarely affected him anymore. He was always more resistant to your empathy than the rest of the team before any of this. During this time you’d both go to counseling sessions with veterans and survivors of the “Snap.” It was a way for both of you to honor the memory of Sam and Bucky. Steve sometimes spoke to the survivors at these sessions while you listened and tried to ease their pain with your abilities, that was the primary reason Steve wanted you there. He felt that using your abilities once again to help people would heal you as well. Aside from the counseling you’d occasionally get in touch with Bruce and Tony although you rarely saw them in person. Other times you and Steve would go on runs, he’d always insist on keeping pace with you even though you told him it was okay for him to run at his “normal” speed.

_“I’m not leaving you behind”_ he’d say with a smile, sticking by your side. Sometimes you’d watch movies like you both used to with Bucky which in turn caused you both to relive memories of him.

Things were like that for quite sometime until you couldn’t take it anymore. You loved Bucky but his memory still haunted you. Most nights it was nearly impossible to find sleep or peace. Images of him and the others fading before your eyes usually came at this time. You were lying in bed, the bed you shared together. Your thoughts wouldn’t let you sleep and you weren’t drinking or taking pills anymore. You thought to yourself ‘ _how do I move on_.’ Some of the people you and Steve had been counseling were able to do it, but why couldn’t you? They lost people they loved and still found some semblance of peace in this new world, yet you were still holding on to _him._ You knew you were failing him. He wanted your happiness, he always loved your laugh and smile. When was the last time you felt a sliver of joy or smiled? You wondered. Then you found yourself thinking of _‘those blue eyes, those beautiful blues’_ …Steve’s eyes. _‘What the hell?’_ You tried pushing the image of his face from your mind. Yet he remained there and you knew why. 

Steve was the one who got you to smile again. When you were with him, you did feel some form of contentment. You enjoy ed spending time with him. You found yourself looking forward to spending your days with him. This was all normal of course because he was your friend, your best friend in this new life.  _‘Yeah, he’s just your best friend’_ you thought.

That night sleep never came.  A s you tossed and turned so did he. He actually found himself in high spirits. He thought of all the progress you were making. Of your smile, of the hint of joy that radiated from you when you were around. He enjoyed your smile, your perfect pearly teeth, your soft lips. He shook his head  _‘No, no, no. What’s wrong with me? She’s my friend, my best friend’s girl. I’m just looking out for her’_ his thoughts ran through his mind though you didn’t hear them. You were too focused on your own and trying to sleep. 

However after plenty more tossing and turning, enough was enough. You left to the kitchen where you ran into him _._ You both stared at each other wide eyed for a second. You sensed that both of you were feeling nervous, yet you didn’t know why he was.

“Can’t sleep either?” he breaks the silence as he hands you a water bottle. You just nod your head, open it and take a sip. The silence is there again and you look at each other. In that moment you felt his loneliness, his guilt, and his... desire? _‘_ _T_ _hat can’t be right’_ you thought to yourself. _‘Steve can’t feel that way about me…and I can’t feel that way about him.’_ Then you heard it. 

**‘God, why do I feel this way. She’s not mine. I can’t. I CAN’T!’** he turned towards the counter taking a gulp of his water.  **‘Damn it. She probably heard me. She’s probably listening to me right now’** he turned towards you now and you nodded your head. 

“I’m sorry.” you both say at the same time and smile. “You go ahead” he says.

“I didn’t mean to listen in, I’m really sorry” you apologized setting your bottle on the counter.

“I’m just sorry that you heard that. How much of it did you hear?” he asked curiously.

“Enough...and you don’t have to apologize for that.” You look into his eyes before looking at the floor. A few seconds pass before he says anything.

“Maybe we should try to get some rest again. We’ll talk tomorrow” he suggests. You nodded and turned back to where you came from. Yet as you walked the hallway, you remembered leaving your water bottle in the kitchen. So you swiftly turned back only to crash into a muscular body. He gripped your shoulders to keep you steady from the impact. 

“I apologize, I wasn’t expecting you to turn like that. You okay?” you nodded and his gaze roamed from your eyes to your lips as you stood in the dimly lit hall by your doors. You stared into his intense gaze that threatened to swallow you whole. You saw his jaw clench and felt the warmth of his hands on your shoulders, a heat you hadn’t felt in a long time. You both knew at his point you were playing with fire. You felt his hesitation intermingled with his desire. You wanted to turn your door, but instead you leaned in. He did too, you were both now close enough to kiss as you looked up at him. You leaned in more pressing your lips to his neck and heard his sharp intake of breathe.

“Goodnight, Steve” you whispered into his ear. He turned his head slightly, nuzzling your  cheek and planting a feather light kiss.

“Goodnight…” he whispered your name like a prayer. You both pulled away mere millimeters from each others lips. Staring each other down, daring each to make a move or turn away. Suddenly you both leaned in smashing your lips together. Both your lips began to move on their own as one of his palms slid from your jaw to the back of your neck while the other went around your waist pulling closer to him. Your hands clutched his shirt at his chest. Neither of could believe what was happening until you pulled apart to breathe.

“Don’t” you told him knowing he wanted to apologize again. “I need you...I just want to feel good.” You nuzzle his neck. “Please.” You wanted to erase your pain more than anything even if it was just for one night and now his lips and arms were on you again with renewed passion as he leaned you against his door.

“You sure wanna do this?” he sighed gazing intently into your orbs. You answered by recapturing his lips again.

At that time you both agreed it was a one time thing.  After that night you cried at the shame but mostly guilt you felt. You betrayed Bucky. He was gone and you slept with his best friend.  _‘What kind of person does that?’_ Then you realized, he really was gone. He wasn’t going to comeback. He left you. He had no right to feel anything now. You were  becoming irrationally angry at him and yourself. 

You and Steve also lied to yourselves a lot following that night. He even moved out of the Compound to give you space. You both felt it was for the best and you hadn’t spoken to one another since. You were falling into your depression again after Steve moved out. Natasha tried to keep you company but there was only so much she could do in the state she was in herself. The memories and pain were returning and you were affecting her. You felt awful about causing her any misery. You knew you had to get away even for a while. You thought about calling Steve but you didn’t want to risk doing the same to him as Natasha. And after last time, you were aware it wasn’t a good idea to be near him.

So you went to the city in need of shelter and stayed at a hotel. Everything felt so different, there was so much silence which only made you feel more alone. You didn’t know it but when you left, Nat called Steve so he could check on you. She was worried you would relapse into your old patterns and with good reason. You were in your room trying to distract yourself with TV or reading but it was no use. The dark thoughts wanted to creep back in. As you paced your room like a mad-woman you heard a knock. You weren’t expecting anyone so you looked through the door’s lens and saw Steve standing on the other side. Your heart immediately began to race as you leaned your back against the door, debating whether to let him in or not. He showed up again just when you needed him. Like a lifeline, a hero, your salvation. He said your name after knocking a few more times.

“...I know you’re in there. I just want to know that you’re okay. Nat told me how you took off. I should have never left, I am so sorry”  he sounded deeply worried. You really wanted to ease his fears but you remembered the last time you were together. You recalled the shame and guilt, but most of all you recalled the heat and feel of his body. The way he brought you to life that night.

“I can feel you on the other side, just please _open the door_. _I am not leaving you_ until I see you.” he pleaded. At his words, you automatically opened the door. You looked into each other’s eyes feeling a myriad of emotions before you both settled on one. You launched yourselves at one another, holding on for life. You were each other’s lifelines, pulling each other from the depths of the void. As your lips and bodies moved of their own accord you mentally told yourselves you were just keeping each other company. You didn’t belong to him and he didn’t belong to you. You were just friends easing each other’s desolation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments will be appreciated. As many writers I could use some encouragement. It's nice to know if anyone other than yourself enjoys your work :D


	3. Back At One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader recalls years 3 and 4 since the loss of half the universe as she grows closer to Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing really dark about this one. I also can't help using song titles as titles for my fics and their chapters, though the lyrics or songs really have nothing to do with story.

The third year rolled around now. You enrolled at a local college and began taking classes, trying to pick up where you left off years ago. At this time you and Steve began to date without even realizing it. You started staying more often at his place. Natasha noticed but she didn’t want to pry into whatever you both had, all she knew was that you were both much happier and that brought some satisfaction into her own life. At the beginning, your encounters always ended in guilt for both of you and sometimes tears. Seeing you in tears made Steve’s heart ache. He thought you were both healing and moving on. Of course Bucky was still in your hearts and minds because you were both constant reminders of him to each other. However when you felt Steve’s pain, you knew you’d do whatever you could to take it away. So gradually, with tremendous effort you pushed Bucky to the back of your mind. You were aware you’d always love him but holding on to him was causing Steve and yourself unnecessary anguish. He ended up doing the same.

You both still kept insisting you were just friends. But as you spent more time together and your casual outings became real dates,  y ou couldn’t help  but accept  that  there was more to all that  had happened between you. Sometimes you both felt that you were only holding on to each other because of your connection to Bucky. 

**‘Maybe I’m just** _**his** _ **replacement’** Steve thought  one night . 

_‘He just feels obligated to watch over me’_ crossed your mind,  u ntil you had the talk. 

You were staying in his  apartment now . You both needed to feel each other’s warmth to fall asleep lately.  Y ou  both craved it. Now it was Steve’s scent, voice, and touch that invaded your senses.  You wore  _his_ shirts now instead of Bucky’s that were locked away in your old room  back in the Compound .

“Steve?” You called to him as he read the day’s newspaper while sitting in an armchair near _your_ shared bed. You were finishing the breakfast he brought you. He was so caring, kind, and thoughtful, on top of his many other positive qualities. You always admired Steve if you were truthful. When you first met you were starstruck, and maybe even had a little crush. But who didn’t? He was Captain freaking America. And then you got to know the real _him,_ Steve Rogers, the little guy from Brooklyn _._ Natasha even tried to hook you up once but you refused. You always felt he was out of your league, too good for you. You felt the same about Bucky but he still managed to get past your defenses just like you did with his.

“Yes, Sweetheart?” Steve broke you out of your thoughts.  You almost forgot what you were going to say until it came back to you.

“Come sit with me” you padded the bed next to you as you put the tray of food on your nightstand. He smiled and quickly crossed to your side taking his shoes off and sitting against the pillows and headboard.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked curiously never taking his gaze off you. **‘...** **so beautiful’** his thought and stare made you blush. **‘…want you…can’t have you’** another one slips through, that one deepened your blush as you felt his struggle and desire, but there was something else there. It wasn’t lustful. Something pure maybe? Something like...love..? 

“You’re in my head again aren’t you?” he questions with a smirk and you just smile sheepishly.

“ I’m sor-” you don’t get to finish as he interrupts you.

“Hey it’s okay” he soothes. “I know it’s out of your control sometimes and I was probably being too loud...so did you want to talk about anything in particular or-” before he finishes you speak up.

“I just...I wanted to tell you…” he looks at you  a bit worried. “Steve you’re not a replacement for  _him_ . You never were.  I know neither of us wanted this  at first ...but I can’t lie  to myself  anymore.  It’s driving me insane. I think I really want this Steve. I want to be with you...I... I love you.” you close d your eyes  and scold ed yourself. “I shouldn’t have said that...I just really care for you and I understand if you don’t want this to be more than whatever it is.” You kept your eyes shut and bit your lip anxiously.

“ Hey, l ook at me” he holds your chin towards him gently as you open your eyes to see his loving gaze. “I’ ve wanted this more than anything since that first night. I just couldn’t admit it to myself then and I can’t barely  admit it now. You saved me. I’ve been encouraging people to move on when I haven’t done it myself. I was drowning before, just going through the motions, trying to put a brave face for what’s left of the world. Bucky’s my brother…was my brother.” You felt a sting at those last words  as he released your chin . “We both love him but I know we have to let him go. I just wanted to do right by you  and maybe not feel like such a failure anymore.  _I love you so much_ …” he finishes whispering your name.  You grab his face and look directly into his magnificent blue orbs.

“ You are not a failure. You never were. Don’t you dare say that ever again. If you’re a failure what does that make the rest of us?  Don’t you think I’ve felt the same? We were a team. And we lost.  All of us. Promise me you’ll get past this” you knew he needed to forgive himself in order for you both to fully move on.

“I promise” you leaned in to kiss him at his reply, knowing he really was going to try to let  go.

* * *

Year four since the “Snap” was the best for you and Steve. Both of you continued dating and counseling survivors. You were still attending classes and even got a civilian job, on top of already counseling and volunteering. Natasha continued leading the new Avengers that included Rhodey, Carol, Okoye, Rocket, and Nebula. A piece of you wanted to assist them on these missions, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. It was just a painful reminder of all the people who were gone, whether they were dead or alive. 

Sometimes you reminisced of earlier missions with the entire team. Other times it was the memories you all shared as a family. Thinking of family also brought forth thoughts of your life with Steve. You wondered if Bucky would approve of your relationship. At times you told yourself _‘of course he wouldn’t, he’d feel betrayed that his best friend and girlfriend decided to shack up.’_ But then you thought, _‘he’d want us to be happy, Steve and I were the most important people in his life.’_ Yet you always ended up resigning to the fact that you’d never know. You’d never see _him again._

At this time you  also wondered if you and Steve would ever move forward.  L ife was much less complicated and peaceful  in this new world . Before all this you never thought much about marriage and kids.  Y ou figured you would be okay whether it happened for you or not. During your time with Bucky it had never really occurred to you. Sure you’d occasionally fantasize about that sort of thing with him, but times were different. There was no way you wanted to bring a child into a world where HYDRA existed, especially after everything you and Bucky had gone through with them.

During this year similar thoughts crossed Steve’s mind as well, though you weren’t aware of most of them. He always remembered those he lost,  but mostly he thought of his life with you. He knew you were  _his girl_ now, and like you he resigned himself to believe that he’d never know what his best pal would think of your current relationship. All he knew was that you weren’t Bucky’s anymore,  _you were his_ , and he wanted to show you this. 

Late that year Steve bought an engagement ring. He knew he wanted to move forward with you but above all, he wanted to make you his girl, officially. Despite all this, Steve didn’t propose yet. He decided to wait because like you, he still had lingering guilt when Bucky invaded his thoughts. He also knew you were busy with school, work, counseling, and volunteering. So he tucked the ring away planning to propose at a later time.

The pair of you continued to live as a married couple without the marriage. You even had talks about marriage and children towards the end of this year. Steve was nervous and excited, he couldn’t wait to show you the ring. The only person who knew about it was Natasha,  whom he’d shown it to. She  joked, telling him he’d better hurry  and propose or she’d do it instead.

“ I will Nat. I just want to give her more time...well give us, more time” he told her.

“Well like I said, don’t wait too long Steve. You never know who might come by and snatch her up” she joked again with a playful smirk.

“I’m seriously starting to think you want to steal My Girl, Tasha”  he quipped back with his own lighthearted grin.

“ Can you blame me?  Have you seen her lately? Not only is she as gorgeous as always, but she’s also a saint, apparently. Guess you two really are meant to be together” his heart swelled at those last words. “However as much as  I adore her. I’ve got m y sights set on someone else” she smirked looking back at her computer  that showed a photo of Clint. Steve  didn’t see  it as he  said his goodbyes to her, to return to you at your  shared  loft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thanks for taking the time to read my work. If you enjoyed please let me know. Comments, Kudos, and positive feedback would be greatly appreciated :D


	4. See You Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Events of Avengers: Endgame begin to unfold with reader along for the ride.

That final year of peace finally rolled around.  You managed to get your Bachelor’s Degree and were on your way to earning your Master’s. Steve and Natasha were exceedingly proud of your achievement.  He couldn’t wait to propose to you. He thought of doing it after your graduation, but he figured it would be best if your engagement happened on its own special day. So he planned it towards the end of the year. 

However something miraculous happened during October. You didn’t see it happen since you were at  work . Natasha and Steve were in the  C ompound having a conversation when Scott Lang  abruptly showed up after years of everyone believing he was dead.  Once Steve heard Scott’s story he couldn’t believe it. There was a possibility of bringing everyone back. He was elated at the prospect of seeing everyone they lost again. 

That night he wasn’t sure how to break the news to you. He didn’t want to think of what would happen between you when Bucky and the others possibly returned. All he knew was there was a chance and he was willing to take it.

“So what would that mean for us?” you asked after he told you Scott’s tale.

“Um… I’m not sure. We don’t exactly know if it will even work. But I think it’s worth a shot.” he pause d . “ _I promise everything will be fine._ _We’ll figure it out together and make it work somehow_ _. I love you_ ” he wrapped you in his arms and kiss ed the top of your head.

The next day while you were busy with work and  volunteering ,  Steve, Scott, and Natasha paid Tony a visit. He refused to help them at the time, so instead they turned to the Bruce who had changed quite a  bi t since you all last saw him. Somehow they managed to convince Bruce to give them a hand  though he wasn’t really an expert in the field. 

A couple of days later Tony came by the facility with a change of heart. During this time you’d drop by and check in on their progress when you weren’t busy. You were definitely surprised at Bruce’s new appearance since the only contact you’ve had over the last few years was through calls or texts. You also managed to catch up with Tony, who told you stories about his life with Pepper and Morgan. You were immensely happy for him, he was living the life that the rest of the team could only dream of. Except you and Steve of course, you were building a life together. Though lately you were mostly focused on your work and studies while Steve helped the team with their project, so you weren’t seeing much of each other.

The day after Tony’s arrival Bruce and Rocket went to Tønsberg, Norway to recruit Thor while Natasha went to Tokyo for Clint. You thought you were surprised by Bruce’s appearance but you were nowhere near prepared for Thor’s. When you saw him you just wrapped your arms around him. You could feel how different he was not only in appearance but his entire being as well. He reminded you of where you were that first year. He had lost so much, so you just poured every positive emotion you could manage into that hug. You could feel his change as soon as you did, however you had to step away because you became nauseated. He apologized as you excused yourself to go to the restroom, figuring he made you sick with his stench. After that you reunited with Clint. You didn’t share many words but you knew you missed each other as you embraced in silence.

Another day passed as Tony and Steve decided to hold a meeting to plan their next steps. You decided to take a day off from school and work to go to their meeting although you were almost sure you wouldn’t participate unless they really needed you. During Thor’s talk you had to excuse yourself from the meeting when you felt nausea creeping up on you again. It had happened a few times already and you figured it had to do with all the excitement and anxiety you were feeling because of the entirety of what was happening lately. Not only were you busy with everything you had going on, you were also anxious about the possibility of facing _him_ once more. You never thought you’d be hesitant to see Bucky again.

Once the meeting finished Steve decided to check on you. You told him you weren’t feeling well, that it would probably pass when you got something to eat. That night he decided to take you out to diner. He had felt  guilty about not spending much time with you recently. He thought about proposing to you that same night, however it didn’t seem like the  right time, especially with Bucky’s possible return. Steve felt distressed by this thought as well.  Y our earlier words echoed in his mind,  _‘what would that mean for us?’_ He honestly had no idea. He kept telling himself everything would be alright no matter what. You’d all figure it out in the end.

The next day more plans were made  for their “Time Heist”  as Scott called it. You had gone back to  work at that time and didn’t feel sick anymore although you were very distracted by thought of your boyfriend returning. But he wasn’t your boyfriend anymore was he? You were with Steve now.  Y ou  _were Steve’s girl_ . Bucky left you, obviously not on purpose but he was gone all these years. What could he expect when he returned? For you to be waiting  forever with open arms,  like nothing happened ? There was a time when you thought you would.  T hose first two years seemed like you’d never move on from him and you didn’t want to. But Steve managed to break your defenses like Bucky once did.  That night you dreamed of  _him_ while  you were wrapped up in Steve’s arms. 

* * *

The day of the heist finally arrived, that morning you felt queasy again and you actually threw up this time. Steve had already gone to make preparations with the others. As you stood alone in your bathroom you finally recalled something you had forgotten about until you were about to take your birth control. You were a few days late. You thought this was normal because of all your stress lately. It had to be. There was no way you could be pregnant now, could you? You and Steve were always careful. You had agreed you would wait a few more years before deciding on something that important. You took your pills like clockwork everyday. Did you miss a day? Maybe you should have gotten an implant or IUD like Nat had suggested years ago, but you were too afraid to try. Your life was getting hectic even before all this time travel stuff. And both of you had stopped using condoms for a while, since the pair of you knew there would be no harm, because there was really no risk of contracting anything between you. _‘_ _Damn it Steve, you and your super sperm!’_ you cursed to yourself. But you were getting ahead of yourself so you checked your pills...and there it was. You had missed one day. No this couldn’t be possible. _‘Okay it was just one pill’_ you immediately rationalized. Chances of conception were still fairly low. There was no way you were having a child, especially now.

You skipped out on class today and had already taken days off for work so you joined the team that day.  You considered buying a pregnancy test before heading to the facility, but finally decided against it.  As preparations were finalizing you pulled Steve aside for a talk.  You weighed whether to tell him about your possible pregnancy, nevertheless you  held your tongue.  Besides you weren’t certain it was a fact and r ight now definitely wasn’t the time. He was about to go on probably the most important mission of your lives.  You also had a nagging feeling that something would go wrong  so y ou held him as he donned  his Advanced Tech Suit.

“ You are the sexiest Astronaut I have ever seen” you flirted as  an attempt to dispel your worries which earned you a flirtatious smirk from him .

“Well technically I’m not going to space...or at least I don’t think I am.”  He says with a slightly puzzled  yet amused look. “I really don’t know anything about this if I’m being truthful, all I know is that were gonna do whatever it takes to bring them home” he assured you and kissed your forehead. “ I should go now, their probably waiting on me” he tells you as he pulls away from you.

“Really Captain? Is that how you’re going to say goodbye to me?” you raise your eyebrow with a mischievous grin.

“I’m only going to be gone for a minute Sweetheart” he goes back to pull you towards him.

“Yeah, but anything can happen in that minute. I don’t want to lose you Steve.”  There you said it, your worst fear. You rested your temple against his chest while your arms were wrapped around his waist.

“ L ook at me”  as you  glanced up he gives you th e most amorous gaze  you’ve seen from him . “ _I promise_ _I will come_ _back_ _to_ _you_ ” and with those words he grabs the back of your neck pulling you into a deep kiss. You both immediately open up to each other, letting your tongues dance  together . His free hand presse d your body closer to his. You continue d that way for a while until you both hear d someone clearing their throat.

“ We’ve been waiting on you Cap” Tony said with a mildly surprised look on his face. Nobody but Natasha knew about your relationship. You decided not to tell anyone,  particularly because of recent events.

“If you want to ask, just ask Tony” you tell him knowing he was wondering about your relationship.

“Well... if you say so. How long has this been going on?” he waves his hand between  the pair of you . Steve looks at you before responding and you nod.

“A few years now” he answers simply.

“Wow...I’m guessing you both already know how complicated this is gonna get?”  he questions knowing the answer already.

“Yup, which is why no one but you and Nat knows about us” you tell him.

“Damn and I thought I was the first to know. In any case, whatever happens I wish you both  good luck” he says sincerely and you both thank him as he leads you to the others.

You  stood by the panel as the others walked on to the platform. After Steve gave one of his many inspirational speeches, they were gone.  You were all alone.  That minute almost felt like an  hour for you. Did something go wrong? ‘ _What if Steve doesn’t return? What_ _if none of them return?’_ No everything was go ing to be fine. It’s what Steve promised you. 

Suddenly they were back...minus one and you felt it as soon as they came. Clint collapsed on the platform as you ran to him. Tears were forming in your eyes already.  Y ou couldn’t help  yourself this time and a s Clint told the others  what happened you looked into his mind. You saw them on that planet.  T he man with the red skull. You saw the kiss they shared filled with so many unspoken words between them. You saw their struggle.  A nd you saw her fall. Now he looked into your eyes and he knew  t hat you saw  it all . You just held each other as Bruce  struck the platform on his knees. 

Right after that you decided to distance yourself from all of them to mourn Natasha and try to reel in your emotions. Steve came to check on you after he spoke to the guys. You wanted to ask about bringing Natasha back but you already knew the answer by the look on his face. The two of you cried and held each other for what felt like an eternity. Steve ended up pulling away to caress your face. You felt the shift in his emotions now. He was determined now. He resolved to not let Natasha’s sacrifice go in vain. As much as you wanted to collapse on yourself, you held on to Steve’s new zeal. 

Thinking back on it he was always your rock. When you dove into Bucky’s mind to help with his memories and Hydra's influence it always left you drained. Most of time the you took his pain and sadness as your own. But when Steve came around he always brought a calming and optimistic presence that uplifted and sometimes made you euphoric. Bucky was the one to bring you back to earth although he always made you feel like you were on cloud nine. They both balanced you. They were like the sun and the moon, and you needed them. Maybe Steve was right. _‘_ _We’ll figure it out together and make it work somehow’_ his words repeated in your mind. It was the best case scenario you could hope for. In the worst…you’d lose them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're sticking around "til the end of the line" :D Thanks again!


	5. Heroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soon after Natasha's devastating sacrifice the real battle begins.

No one slept after the previous day’s events, except for yourself. Tony, Bruce, and Rocket made the final touches to the Nano Gauntlet. The other’s were scattered about. You found yourself depleted after all the tears and emotions and passed out in Steve’s old room. As you woke up with your newfound courage, courtesy of Steve, you decided you were going to do something. You didn’t want to be a bystander anymore. You were supposed to be part of the team. You had to for Natasha, no matter what was going to happen next. So you decided to suit up, wearing the outfit you hadn’t worn since that day in Wakanda five years ago. All eyes were on you when you stepped into the room everyone was in except Nebula since she usually kept to herself.

“Looks like someone is back in the game” Tony commented  with a slight smirk .

“Well it’s about damn time. Whatever happens next we need you Kid” Clint  conveyed with a sad smile as you made your  way to him.

“I know guys, I apologize for my absence, but I’m ready now” Clint squeezed your hand as you stood next him.

“There’s no need to apologize. We all get it. We’re just glad to have you back.” Bruce said as the others nodded in agreement before Rocket spoke up.  They began trying to decide who was going to wield the Gauntlet to bring everyone back. After some debating it was settled that Bruce would do it since he was more likely out of all of you to  survive the gamma radiation.  None of you  knew what to expect so Tony locked down the facility as you all took your positions. Steve stood in front of you in a protective stance  as you all watched Bruce . 

Once he put the glove on the stones activated. You felt the immense power that emanated from them, but you also felt Bruce’s excruciating pain. You made a move towards him as Thor told him to take the glove off. Steve held you back however as he and Tony asked Bruce if he was okay, he said he could do it and continued. His pain was building up and you tried to do what you could from your distance. Eventually he snapped his fingers and fell before all your eyes. Everyone immediately crowded around him and as Tony treated his injury Bruce grabbed your arm.

“Did it work?” He asked you all. Thor responded as Scott stepped into another room and Clint went to a nearby table where his attention was caught by something in that direction. Several seconds passed when you noticed a shadow cross over Bruce’s face and his startled expression. You barely had enough time to look up and see what he saw. There was something headed your way and all at once there were deafening explosions all around you. You’re heart almost leaped out of your chest and you didn’t have time to do anything before you felt yourself falling.

* * *

You  awoke to someone calling your name. You felt water  beneath you  and  specks of debris  hitting your face  along with an aching sensation at the back of your skull and other body parts . 

“Guys get outta here!” Bruce yelled. “Can you walk?” He directed at you as you blinked the fog from your vision. You opened your eyes to see Bruce standing above you holding a gigantic slab of concrete over himself. He was the only thing keeping the entire place from crashing down over you. You also faintly noted Rocket’s distress in the background of all the commotion while you checked your head only to find some blood on your fingertips. 

As you tried to regain your bearings you heard Bruce call out to Rhodey and then the sound of a wave crashing nearby. You snapped your head in the direction of Bruce’s gaze and sensed who you believed to be Rhodey and Rocket beneath the heavy torrent. With the help of your telekinetic abilities and a massive amount of effort you pulled them to you, trying to hold them above water. Bruce was still somehow managing to keep the rest of the structure from collapsing on all of you with only one fully functional arm.

As  Rhodey  recovered from the surprise tidal wave, he tried contacting anyone for help through the comms.  W hile  he did that, you heard Steve trying to reach your mind. He  repeatedly called out your name  frantically asking if you were alright. 

**‘I’m fine Steve’** you lied as the waters rose around the four of you that were trapped. You didn’t want to worry him knowing there was an enemy out there he had to concentrate on. **‘Are you okay?’** you asked keeping your thoughts steady to not alarm him.

**‘I’m with Tony.** **I** **f you can, try to find the Stones.** **I’ll see you later’** he projected to you as he and Tony approached Thor’s location. Steve had to focus now, no matter how much he wanted to run to you, he had a job to do. At least he felt relieved when he  realized  you were still alive.

**‘I will. See you soon’** you lied again as your fear kept rising along with the waters  and the building coming down on you .

“See you on the other side, Man” you heard Rhodey addressing Rocket who floated next to him while you now attempted to help Bruce keep the structure up with your dwindling energy. As you all took your last breathes before being submerged you sensed someone else close by. It was Scott, he was making his way towards the four of you. As he abruptly grew in size the waters subsided around all of you, Bruce and yourself no longer had to hold the building up.

“I’ve got you guys. I also picked up something along the way for you Rhodes” Scott, now Giant Man produced War Machine’s Mark VII armor. You assisted Rhodey into his armor right before Scott carried you all in his palm and burst through the remainder of what was once considered home for some of you. Once you all dismounted from Giant Man’s hand, you all made your way towards Steve while spotting portals with hundreds of people pouring out of them. 

You finally all stood behind him at the battlefront. He quickly glanced back feeling your gaze on him and gave you a hopeful smile before turning back and shouting “Avengers!” while summoning Mjølnir.

“ A ssemble.” And that was it, everyone on both sides rushed or flew forward to  clash . 

At the beginning you were near Steve and Thor tearing apart any Outriders,  Chitauri, or Sakaarans you could reach within distance  of your telekinesis. 

Then you felt him, he was close by and you knew he could feel you too. You looked into Bucky’s eyes for what seemed like a split second before you both had to refocus on the fight. He shot some Outriders behind you while you disabled more enemies behind him. You didn’t know what to do or how to react to him. So you just made your way between him and Rocket as they unloaded on approaching targets. 

Your backs were  now  to each other as you continued to rip more of the opposition apart. You felt his familiar heat from your proximity.  Finally you decided to speak up.

**‘Hey…’** it’s all you can think to project to him.  _ ‘Really hey?’ _ you think yourself. Your man comes back from the dead and all you can say is a lame  _ ‘hey’ _ but then again was he even your boyfriend  anymore ?  **‘It’s been awhile...** **stranger** **’** you add trying to be less awkward.

**‘Not for me Dollface. Did you miss me?’** he transmitted to you with what you thought was a smirk since you couldn't see his face while you both continued taking down adversaries. Your heart jumped when his comment made you think of all these years of mourning and living with Steve.

Thankfully before you could respond three more Outriders pounced a few feet away only to get annihilated by Rocket. Soon after, during a brief break from oncoming forces you both turned to face one another. Regarding each other for a few seconds before resuming to attack more incoming enemies.

“ I’m sensing some real tension between you  two ” Rocket’s comment made you both look at him. “I get it ‘ A in’t  N o  M ountain  H igh  E nough’  and that sorta thing, but is this really the time?!”  he chides while  shooting away some  Chitauri . “Get your heads outta your asses!” he added while cackling as he  blasted more enemies.

“ Hey we’ve been doing just fine  Fox McCloud ” you counter with a smirk as you smashed a couple  more  Chitauri into each other while Bucky shot some advancing Sakaarans leaving them all dead. “But your right. I’ll leave you to it boys.” You took off into the air with telekinetic force.

**‘Where are you going?’** Bucky broadcasts his question to you in concern.

**‘** **I’m just gonna go around to check on the others. You two will be fine here.’** you transmit as you flew further away.

**‘I’m not worried about me’** he tells you. You look back as he glances at you and then resumes to attack.

**‘I’ll be okay. We’ll talk later’** you turned back and continued to fly away from him. You needed to refocus, you both did. Rocket really was right this definitely was not the time. You carried on hovering and landing over the battlefield assailing enemies and assisting allies whenever you had the chance. You felt empowered now with so much energy around you. You tried to focus your mind to listen to any allies in distress during. At one point you heard the team discussing the stones over the comms then you heard a horn play “La Cucaracha.” 

A while later  you landed near Tony and Stephen Strange. You couldn’t hear what they were saying but you tried to listen in.  You were aware it might be an invasion of privacy but all that goes out the window when your in the midst of war. 

T hen you saw something you were sure you weren’t supposed to see in  the Sorcerer Supreme’s mind. He immediately turned his gaze in your direction, he must have felt your intrusion. He knew that you saw it...Tony  Stark ’s death.


	6. The Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Battle comes to its conclusion. A sacrifice is made. A mysterious stranger shows up, providing much needed assistance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I am able to surprise at least one of you. I might be giving it away but this chapter features a special guest star, or maybe two depending how you look at it or read it in this case.

Strange gave you a look of warning. You knew you couldn't tell anyone of what you just witnessed so you just nodded to him solemnly and continued cutting down enemies around you. If you wanted to survive you had to lock away that perturbing image that haunted the forefront your mind. You opened your mind to pick up something else to fixate on, that’s when you sensed the Stones. They were being moved swiftly through the battlefield. From a distance you began to see blooms of red glow that you assumed were from Wanda being engaged in battle.

Shortly after the entire field was bombarded. Luckily you were shielded on time, by one of the Masters of the Mystic Arts, who fought near you. You could have defended yourself but your mind was still racing with what you saw in the Doctor’s thoughts and then you noted Peter Parker’s cries of distress. Soon after you heard your Captain address the Spider-Man and saw Mjølnir flying through the air. The young Avenger managed to hitch a ride with the mighty hammer.

The fire was still reigning down at this time and you were also trying to make your way to the Kid and the  Stones . You dodged, attacked, and assisted anything, respectively. 

Ultimately you managed to sense Peter’s fear close by and you resolved there was no way you were letting an o ther  one of your teammate’s die. Natasha quickly came to mind, you were fighting for her and then there was Tony he had a wife and daughter, you couldn’t allow anything to happen to him. You weren’t going to let a child grow up without their father. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Buddy” You  finally reach ed Peter and huddled with him on the ground shielding yourselves, and the Gauntlet he was clutching to his chest  with your telekinetic force .

As you protectively held Peter and thought of Tony as a father, you remembered what you had buried in your mind barely a day ago. There was a possibility you could be a mother, then you worried about your Captain and Sergeant. Were they alright? 

However  this wasn’t the time to think of that, you needed to find a way to stop what was coming. 

At some point the fire from the ship above ceased and was aimed at another direction. You looked up in time to see a  blazing light blasting through the massive vessel. 

I t was Captain Marvel  she hovered in the sky as the ship crashed into the waters below .  Soon after Carol made her way to you and Peter. You helped him up as she spoke to him and he handed her the glove. He mentioned how was she going to get through the rest of the advancing army, that’s when the rest of the heroines showed up. You along with them assisted Carol  in an attempt to get the stones to the van’ s Quantum Tunnel.

There was a sudden explosion as you all made your way towards the vehicle. You were far enough to not get hit by the force of it. Your heart almost gave out seeing Tony and Thanos reaching for the Gauntlet in the distance. You pushed yourself with all you could muster in their direction.  Then  you spotted Thor  who showed up with Mjølnir and Stormbreaker.  A fter  some struggle between them Steve leapt onto Thanos’ back assisting  the God of Thunder . However Thanos overcame them as you neared. 

As the Mad Titan reached for the glove, someone unfamiliar to you stepped in. A man with metal blades protruding from his knuckles stabbed at Thanos’ outstretched arm while Carol touched down knocking him down partially. This gave you the opening you needed as the Titan managed to shake off the mystery man and resumed his grasp for the glove. You were close enough now, so you summoned as much telekinetic force as you could pulling the Nano Gauntlet to you. Thanos cried out in frustration seeing the object fly away from him as Carol landed a powerful punch. 

You didn’t have to think more about it, this was do or die. As the Gauntlet made its way to you, you kept your right hand extended, letting the nano tech adjust to  it . 

In that moment every possible thought and emotion coursed through you along with a hint of pain you were starting to feel as the gems glowed.  The power was intense but you focused. You focused on how you wanted to win this battle. You wanted to save everyone even those you were told you couldn’t bring back. You felt regret for hiding an important part of yourself to the team and the rest of the world.  You wanted to be prepared, you wanted to be powerful enough to protect them all. If you could go back and unite them all maybe you could save them all,  everyone single one, in this life or the next .

The pain was almost unbearable now it was white hot, it felt like  a combination of your arm being submerged in lava  or lightning shocking your nerve endings . 

You  began losing feeling  in your arm as Thanos shook Carol off and ran towards you. 

Then you did it. You snapped your fingers. 

The Titan stopped in his tracks knowing what was about to come. Once it happened you felt cold from the right side of your face to your  fingertips , then it was  all numb. You looked at Tony nearby as you began to crum p le,  but someone caught you before you hit the ground.  I t was the stranger who wielded the metal claws.

**‘Thank...you’** you managed to weakly project to him since you couldn’t find your voice. He gave you a surprised expression then his gaze roamed to the side of your face and his eyes widened a bit as you closed your eyes no longer able to stay awake.

* * *

“Is she...alive?” Steve asked the man as he and Tony rushed to your unconscious body.  During this time all the enemies faded including Thanos himself. The Man lay your body down gently and Tony began spreading a cooling agent along your injuries.

“She’s still breathing” he told them.

“Logan?”  Steve recognized the mysterious man when he took his eyes off you momentarily.

“It’s been awhile, Captain” Logan answers  earnestly while Tony checks your vitals.

“ What are we looking at Friday?” Tony queries the AI. 

“ Vital signs are critical .  S he  requires immediate medical  intervention .” She responded as Pepper, Peter, and Rhodey showed up they all had looks of shock and worry on their faces.

“ People we got a medical evac here, need some transportation pronto” he ordered into the comms.

“Already on it.” Clint responded through the earpiece while Sam flew towards the group with Bucky in tow.

“Local medical facilities have already been alerted to your incoming arrival.”  Friday informed Tony and the others. Bucky saw you  from a distance laying there in the middle of the crowd, his heart w renched as he and Sam made their way to you. 

They didn’t have to ask anything, they saw your arm and the glove by your side. While they  all  waited for Clint to arrive with the transportation, Tony approached Strange  with ire .

“You knew this was going happened?!” he demanded  to the Sorcerer already knowing the answer.

“I warned you.  I f you knew, i t would not happen... s he did however” Stephen looked at you before glancing back at Tony. “It was supposed to be you.” Tony’s face paled at the realization. You sacrificed yourself to save him, to save everyone. 

Pepper had stayed by your side monitoring you with a special device from her suit. Steve clutched your left hand in both of his while clenching his jaw trying to keep his tears at bay. He was mostly in shock staring at your unconscious form, but when Bucky showed up he stepped away to gather himself. They hadn’t spoken yet, only spotting each other occasionally across the war zone. 

“ How is she?” Bucky asked Pepper while his hands replaced Steve’s.

“Her vitals are very weak at the moment. Moving her too much could cause more harm until we can get her somewhere stable” Pepper replied somberly  as she continued her scans. Nearby Steve watched you and Bucky.

“How did you end up here?” he asked Logan trying to distract himself.

“The wizard in the red cape showed up, before my people and I were slaughtered.” he responded grimly. Logan seemed like he wanted to say something else but suddenly the wind picked up signaling Clint’s arrival. Fortuitously he managed to find an intact Quinjet within the destroyed premises. They managed to get you onto a gurney and loaded you into the plane. Bucky and Steve immediately boarded on either side of you. Bruce, Thor and Wanda entered as well while Sam joined Clint as co-pilot. Pepper urged Tony to join you and he was the last to board. Everyone else stayed behind to give you all space.

* * *

You had no idea where you were. All you saw was a vast desert-like landscape bathed in orange glow. You were alone or at least you believed you were. 

Then you saw her.

Natasha.

L ooking as beautiful as ever. You were about to run  to her and wrap her in your embrace, yet you felt something different when you  really took a look at her. 

You knew whoever that was, it wasn’t her. You sensed  tremendous power, and though you were hesitant you spoke  to this mysterious entity .

“Where am I?” You questioned the Natasha look alike. “How did I get here?”

“Do you remember what happened before you got here?” She responded with a query of her own. Your mind felt hazy but you recalled wearing the Gauntlet and snapping your fingers not too long ago.

“Am I dead?” It was all you could think of asking for now. “Who are you... really ?  I know your not Natasha. ”

“ You’re n ot  dead  yet  and I think you know who I am .  Not many who come through here can recognize me. Many believe me to be one of their loved ones or just a familiar face. You however are not like most of them. There is great power within you. We sensed your presence before you arrived.” the being wearing Nat’s face continued. “ Such i mmense potential and you have not even scratched the surface. ”

“ Who did you mean by  _ W _ _ e _ ?” you asked while remaining remarkably calm.

“If you know who I am. You know the others as well.”

That’s when it clicked.

T he orange glow. 

The intense power,  this was the Soul Stone. 

“Yes, you are correct. The moment you took on our power, you bonded with us. Most beings would have perished but you survived because of  this.”  Apparently this  _ Thing _ was able to read your mind.

“So you kept me alive?”

“Normally, I am in the business of taking souls. However... _ We _ deliberated, deciding to spare you and the life inside of you.” 

So it was true you were pregnant.

“ _W_ _e_ tried to keep this Universe on the right path. Nudges here and there. Gifts bestowed to a few. Yet none of that matters now. Both you and your child have larger roles to play in the New Universe. This one is already set on a path of doom once _We_ return to our rightful home.” You barely registered the part about doom of the universe, when you heard _‘_ _your_ _child._ _’_

Y ou and Steve were having a  baby . 

You were going to be a mother...if you got out of this place you assumed .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had to bring the Mutants into this. Love me some X-Men. Wish we could have seen Hugh Jackman's Wolverine and the other Mutants on screen with the Avengers. Also I really wanted to protect Peter Parker during that one scene in the movie. I knew he wasn't gonna die or anything but he seemed so terrified, poor babe.


	7. Like A Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Team shares their feelings and emotions after your sacrifice.

Once you all arrived at the nearest hospital from your former HQ, you were promptly taken in. Tony had called in an elite medical team which included Dr. Helen Cho, during your transport.

You all went through a private entrance. Since your heart had stopped once during the flight, you were rapidly taken to the Intensive Care Unit. Bruce and Tony had managed to revive you with Pepper’s equipment as the others looked on horrified.

In the ICU you crashed a couple more times until they were able to stabilize you. Eventually you were taken to a secluded wing, courtesy of Tony, where Dr. Cho treated you along with the rest of the first-class medical staff and equipment Tony had called upon.

You were stable although in a coma now. The only thing your present teammates could do was wait. None of them had seen you since your intake.

They cried, they panicked, made calls, and even prayed to anyone who would listen.

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, one of Dr. Cho’s nurses approached them.

“Are any of you next of kin?” she questioned looking around the room.

“We’re all family here Miss” Sam spoke up for everyone.

“I’m sorry but I can only discuss the patient with immediate family or emerg-” she doesn’t get to finish.

“Look Lady we are her family! End of discussion!” Clint berated the poor nurse out of frustration. Steve sighed at Clint’s outburst and his own frustration. They all felt that way right now.

“I’m sorry Ma’am but he’s right. Anything you need to discuss about her you can tell any of us.” He gave her an apologetic look in the process.

“Well I am not allowed to discuss any patient’s information without proper authorization, even as much as I’d like to.” She smiled sympathetically. “But I do have two emergency contacts listed in the file. Is there a Natasha Romanoff, here?” The mood in the room plummeted further at her query and Clint rushed out.

“Can we get the next name?” Tony quickly spoke up to keep the conversation on track.

“Yes...is there a Clinton Barton?” she looked between the remaining members of your squad.

“Yeah, you just missed him” Sam tells her. “I’ll go get him” he says taking off after the archer.

Moments later Clint had a private conversation with Helen Cho regarding your current status. He was stunned by two of the three revelations she made. He knew the others in the group would be shocked by all three pieces of information so he only revealed the obvious one to the team. He figured you’d wake up and tell them about the rest yourself. At least that’s what he hoped.

None of them slept that night, some just went to a nearby hotel for a change of clothing and shower since they all still wore their uniforms. Steve, Bucky and Tony refused to leave no matter what.

Tony did remove his armor though, leaving it in the Quinjet. He felt so much guilt after he found out about what you did for him. He only told Pepper about it on the phone, she tried to comfort him but it was no use.

As for Steve and Bucky, they continued to share very little words. They spent most of their time waiting in their own heads.However the Sergeant grew suspicious of the Captain’s recent distant behavior.

The following day you were allowed visitors, only one at a time,so the problem was deciding who was going to be first.

Another nurse approached the group.“So who wants to see her first?”

Sam and Wanda looked at Bucky.

Clint, Bruce, and Thor glancedat Steve.

While Tony stared between the two soldiers.

Apparently the other three noticed the subtle glances and touches you and Steve shared while planning the heist, and of course there was the fact you slept in Steve’s room that one time, while they stayed at the Compound.

Steve cleared his throat. “Bucky should go” he said looking at his best friend.

Bucky nodded, but he also didn’t miss the way the others looked at Steve. Since he got back he knew there was something off between his girl and best pal, but he pushed that to the back of his mind for now.

That day they all visited you.

“Hey Baby Doll. I need you to wake up right now. You said we’d talk later. So I’m here waiting for you...we all are.” Bucky’s voice began to break as he spoke while his vision became misty. “God...this world has already taken enough from me. I won’t let it take you too...I need you.” Bucky held your uninjured hand during that conversation. He really didn’t want to leave you but he knew the others wanted to see you as well. So he kissed your hand and reluctantly left the room.

Steve was next. He hesitated to go at first, still attempting to conceal the nature of your relationship from Bucky, but Tony urged him on.

The moment he saw you his eyes watered but his voice remained steady. “Hey Baby Girl. I really need you to pull through now. You know...a part of me wants to tell him, but…” one of his tears finally spilled out. “I don’t know if I can do it without you. Please wake up.” He didn’t want to leave you either but he also didn’t want to be selfish so he kissed your forehead and left.

Someone else came in now.

“You know you can’t leave me hanging like this. We haven’t even spoken since I got back and I know you missed me. So get your ass up and give me hug.” Sam told you with a tear in his eye as he squeezed your hand. He wiped it away before he went to the others.

Another of your closest friends walked in.

“You were there for me when I lost my brother. You helped me out of that darkness. I hope you can hear me. You need to wake up please, I already miss you.” Wanda wept remembering all she lost, she didn’t want to lose you too.

After she left your side the fourth visitor of the day showed.

“They call me the strongest Avenger...I think that title belongs to you now. You did it after all, you beat Thanos and we won...Natasha would have been proud. I know you miss her like I do, and that’s why you need to wake up. We can’t lose you too.” Bruce smiled at you while a tear rolled down his cheek.

Thor grew impatient so he went in next.

“I wanted to be the first here you know. But I understand how popular you are, Little Warrior. I am still a bit angry that you literally stole my thunder by taking down Thanos.” Thor chuckled to himself before bursting into tears seconds later. “You can’t leave us, please don’t leave us.” He said a bit hysterically until he calmed back down. “I can’t lose more.” he whispered as he gently stroked the top of your head before composing himself and heading out.

Clint quietly stepped into your room now.

“Wow Kid you’ve got a lot of explaining to do when you wake up. Don’t worry though, I didn’t tell them anything apart from the obvious.” Clint looked down at your injured arm before continuing. “You can’t leave this mess you got yourself into behind. They should know...they should all know. I know only Nat, a few others, and myself know about that. I always wondered why you never told anyone else. I know they’d accept you no matter what...I mean look around, you got all us weeping like babies out here.” He swiped at his tears. “And I’m sure you can work something out with those guys, they really love you...we all do. So get your ass up and out of this bed because I lost Nat and I sure as hell ain’t losing you too.” He left you with a kiss to your temple before your last visitor of the day showed up.

“I know I owe you everything...Strange said it was supposed to be me. And maybe it should have been. Why did you have to go and pull a stunt like that huh?” Tony smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Now your here...and we’re all stuck waiting on you to wake up, Sleeping Beauty. This isn’t the time for a nap so you better get up.” he looked down and couldn't hold back any longer. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. You saved my life...you saved all our lives. And no amount of thanks or anything I give will ever repay that. Because of you I get to be a husband and father.” He blinked his tears away. “I told the others about it before I came in here, I thought one of your boyfriends would murder me, but they understood... everyone did...whatever it takes right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope I was able to convey their emotions the way I actually intended.


	8. Bring Me To Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You awaken in the hospital and some revelations are made.

You heard soft beeping sounds and heard whispers. You felt very tired like you could sleep forever.

But you didn’t want to sleep. You wanted to wake up. For some reason you knew...you really needed to wake up.

The voices became a little clearer as you tried to open your eyes.

“It’s okay I’m right here” you heard a voice whisper to your left as you began to flutter and squint your eyes. When you finally managed to blink the fog away, you saw his gorgeous face.

“Bucky?” It was all you could say.

“Shh…it’s okay Doll. Take your time.” He soothed you. You closed your eyes for a moment, unable to keep them open.

“Steve?” you remembered another handsome face when you closed your eyes.

“I’m here too Sweetheart” you felt a hand caress the right side of your head before you faintly opened your eyes and smiled at him.

“We’re both here for you” Bucky squeezed your left hand before you gave him a weak smile as well.

The three of you remained in silence as you racked your brain trying to recall anything before this moment. You weren’t sure how you ended up here. Then slowly the sights and sounds of a war zone came to the forefront.

“Did we win?” you remembered the battle, taking down enemies and helping your allies.

“Yes we did, thanks to you” Steve stroked your head once again.

You had remembered it...the Snap. You were the one who used the Gauntlet. It was the last thing you remembered.

Then you looked down your right side and saw it.

Most of your right arm was gone, there was just a stump near your armpit.

You couldn’t believe it. You were in complete shock. What you saw didn’t register in your brain. It was like looking at a stranger’s body. You didn’t know whether to cry, laugh, or get angry.

The guys noticed your realization, Bucky continued holding your left hand while Steve wiped a stray tear from your cheek.

You had no idea you were crying.

“You may not want to hear this Doll, but you’ll get through this...I would know” Bucky raised his metal fist opening and closing his hand before he used it to rub your left arm comfortingly.

“He’s right. You’re so strong. Look at what you accomplished, you saved all our lives.” Steve kissed another tear from your right cheek.

You felt their emotions, all they wanted was to take away your anguish. Then you turned to Bucky sensing a hint of jealousy from Steve’s brief show of affection.

“It’s okay Doll, I know.” Bucky always surprised you, he wasn’t the mind reader in your relationship but he usually knew what you were thinking.

They both ended up explaining the conversation they had last night. Bucky had known something was off with Steve and confronted him about it. Steve didn’t want to say anything without your consent, but he caved because he felt he owed his oldest friend an explanation.

He told him how both of you gradually became close...obviously leaving out the graphic details. He also expressed the guilt and sorrow you both felt at the beginning. He even mentioned the remorse the two of you were still feeling this last year. He thought Bucky would be angry but he seemed calm during the entire conversation, if he was he didn’t show it.

Initially Bucky did feel betrayed and maybe a bit of anger. However he understood he was gone for five years. Five years that he was never going to get back.

He always wanted you to be happy but when he heard about the pain you went through because of him, he only wanted to blame himself for it.

How you almost died because of him, so he directed his animosity towards himself. He knew it wasn’t his fault, but he still felt guilty. He missed those five years by your side and of course he didn’t expect you to be alone.

However a part of him was actually glad it was Steve, no matter how odd it might have seemed to anyone other than himself. There was no better man he knew than his own best friend.

Sure he was jealous, after all he wasn’t the one that got to touch you, comfort you, and love you these past years. They ended up agreeing that for now they were just going to let you adjust to your new situation. If you needed them they’d both be there for you, but they never mentioned what would happen after.

Suddenly there was a knock. The Captain and Sergeant looked at you before you told the person on the other side to come in.

“She’s awake!” Thor bellowed towards the others in the waiting room and the soldiers shook their heads looking a bit sheepish at his antics. The God immediately bounded towards you to pull you into a hug as Steve dodged him. You winced at the contact which incensed your soldiers a bit, but Thor quickly apologized as the others rushed in.

It felt odd at first trying to hug each of them. It was hard to sit up without help and keep your balance. Some part of you wanted to cry, but more than anything you were overjoyed to see them.

They told you about how worried they were and how they almost lost you a few times. They also mentioned your other visitors.

Rhodey, Peter, and Pepper had stopped by. Peter really wanted to thank you for protecting him during the battle.

Scott also showed up with Hope leaving you best wishes from themselves and others from the battle that couldn’t make it there.

Shuri came by after hearing about your arm from Tony. They immediately began working on designs for a prosthetic after doing some scans of your body. She left with the hope of your recovery and the promise of making you a new arm.

You also had a visit from some strangers. The man named Logan, who Steve and Bucky apparently met during World War II came by accompanied by an older man in a wheelchair named Charles Xavier.

They told your guys that you were like them, a mutant. Charles mentioned he had a powerful student once with similar abilities to yours however you were different. Logan said that when he held you he watched you heal yourself.

After the soldiers explained to them the extent of your abilities, they assumed that due to your empathy, you were able to channel his abilities for a short time. It was something you had never done before though, so this was just a theory.

Bucky and Steve were astonished by this, you never told them that you were a mutant. There were times you wanted to, though as time passed it didn’t feel necessary since Mutants were already forgotten by most of the world. The only ones who knew were Natasha, Clint, Maria Hill, and Nick Fury. Everyone else thought your abilities manifested courtesy of Hydra, when you were their captive for a time.

You had never met any other mutants throughout your life. Your mother always told you to hide that side of you. She was a scientist who specialized in genetics. Her early work and studies centered around mutants. After you were born she found out you carried the genetic marker for mutation.

During that time there was already a lot of hatred and prejudice that Mutants faced. So as you grew she continued to test you and she eventually created a formula to suppress your X-Gene. These suppressants weren’t for the public however. She had formulated them specifically for you so you would not be detected by anyone who’d want to cause you harm. Once your powers actually manifested you began taking the suppressants. Fortunately those pills did not hinder your abilities, or at least you never thought so.

A while after you became an Avenger you stopped taking those pills, since they started making you ill. Natasha and Clint had known you were taking them and urged you to stop after they ended up taking you to a hospital. They said you didn’t have to hide as long as you were with them.

Mutants had become illegal after events in the early 90s. Most of them died or were powered down due to interventions by special interest groups.

Logan, Charles, and the few mutants who were free from captivity, were being attacked by Sentinels when Stephen Strange showed up. He managed to help them take out the Sentinels while telling them of the upcoming battle and asking for their cooperation. Most of the mutants present questioned why they would bother to help, when all of these years they were left to fend for themselves. Dr. Strange just told them that the future of the world and mutant-kind depended on their participation. Charles agreed with him and sent Logan along with a few others who weren’t so reluctant.

After the group recapped what happened while you were asleep you decided you had to come clean. Bucky and Steve had not mentioned that you were a Mutant to the others, they were the only ones who spoke to Charles and Logan during their visit. They felt that you would talk about it when you were ready, although they were a bit disappointed you never told them.

You explained everything from the way your mother raised you, the suppressants, and why you didn’t feel comfortable sharing that part of yourself with them.

They were all surprised but very accepting. They understood why you kept that to yourself, they witnessed how Mutants were treated for the past several decades. Most of them like the rest of the planet assumed Mutants were already extinct. The Avengers and Shield never got involved in those matters, except when Fury recruited you after your escape from Hydra.

Following that conversation, Dr. Cho told the present team that she needed to speak to you privately.

She explained what happened to your arm. The damage was already too extensive to regenerate with her equipment and she had compared your injuries with Bruce’s.

According to her the damage you suffered should have been far more severe, she couldn’t even understand how you were alive. She told you that Bruce suffered trauma all the way up to his face while yours only came up just below your shoulder almost as if something shielded or healed you.

She also explained how she did further testing and discovered that you were a mutant when she came across your X-Gene. Being a geneticist much like your own mother, Dr. Cho had done research on mutants in the past and was quite fascinated by them although she never treated any.

She finally told you what you had forgotten about all those days ago, it was only a week but it felt like a lifetime. You were about four weeks pregnant by her calculations.

You didn’t know what to do with that bit of information. Of course you had to tell Steve and Bucky, but you had no idea how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason I feel like this chapter didn't flow as well as some of the others, but hopefully you can still enjoy it. I really tried to improve it.


	9. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The love triangle between you, Steve, and Bucky reaches its crossroads. A choice will be made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small warning. I have never used any foul "language" before this chapter. There are probably like three curse words from now on. Which sort of has me debating whether to give this fic a Teen or Mature rating or leave as is. On to the story....

A couple days went by. You were already discharged from the hospital, and soon you were all getting ready for Natasha’s funeral. Most of you moved back to Avengers Tower since those who returned from the Blip were displaced. You and Steve agreed for you to stay there since it felt awkward to live together knowing Bucky was back.

Doing things was also proving to be more difficult now with the loss of your arm. Shuri was still working on your prosthetic and luckily for you though, you relied on your abilities to help with most of your tasks. You had no idea how others managed without special help like you and Bucky, since his loss he always had one of his cybernetic arms except during his time living in Wakanda. You had been there with him and helped him when he allowed you because he really insisted on doing things on his own.

Before your own loss you had a special respect for anyone who faced the loss of their limbs but going through it yourself really changed your perspective. Ever since you woke from that hospital you’ve grieved the loss of your arm. You were never going to be the same again. It made you wonder if your soldiers still saw you the way they always have. And they did, since you left that hospital they never treated you any different, perhaps more overprotective if anything else.

But today wasn’t about your damned arm, it was about one of your loved ones...Natasha Romanoff.

Wanda helped you pick out a black dress you were comfortable in and did your hair.

At the gathering you all drank and told stories of Natasha.

Clint’s were the best obviously.

You all laughed and shed many tears throughout your reminiscing. After a while though you all gathered around for a special tribute. Rare pictures of her and the team were shown on screen and more stories were shared. Not many people were invited because you all knew Natasha was a private person so it wasn’t an extravagant affair.

There was the core team of Steve, Tony, Thor, Bruce, and Clint.

Then there was Wanda, Sam, Bucky, Rhodey, and yourself.

Pepper, Morgan, and Happy showed in support of Tony and the rest of you. Tony had told Morgan stories about all of you, including the time Auntie Nat worked as his assistant.

Peter came with his Aunt May to pay his respects though he wasn’t too familiar with Nat. They only worked together that one time when the team clashed at that airport in Germany.

Scott came with Hope and her parents, he felt it necessary after the time they spent together working on the heist.

Rocket and Nebula showed up with the rest of the Guardians. After they both worked under her leadership for the past few years they wanted to honor her.

Okoye also came with T’Challa and Shuri. While Carol, Maria Hill, and Nick Fury made their solo appearances as well.

Several days went by after that and many events took place around the world. Everyone was adjusting trying to regain the lives they had before the first Snap. The mutants were still in the shadows, however a lot was being done behind the scenes for their rights.

At this time you also hadn’t told Steve and Bucky about your pregnancy although Clint gave you insistent looks every time he was around.

* * *

At the end of this very long month, the time had finally come for the Stones to get returned to their original timelines.

Steve had volunteered to go since he had to take Mjølnir with him as well. He had a long conversation with Bucky away from the rest of you. Once they were done talking they embraced and Bucky had a serious look on his face. You didn’t want to invade their privacy so you resisted using any of your abilities to find out what that conversation was about.

Then Steve made his way to you. He took you to a secluded area further from Bruce, Sam, and Bucky who were the only others present. His expression was mostly passive, but you felt something was off.

“Is something wrong?” you asked worried.

“No everything is fine” He told you with an unconvincing smile as hugged you and kissed your head.

You didn’t know it, but Steve was battling himself internally. He loved you more than anything. However he didn’t know what the future would look like for the two of you now that Bucky was back. He was glad of course he had you both again in his life. What more could he ask for?

But he also thought to himself how would he live without you. Maybe if he never returned from his trip, you and Bucky could have a future together.

The future you and him dreamed of having together not so long ago.

He also told himself perhaps that future could still be possible, he still had that ring tucked away in his apartment. He pictured you saying yes with a joyous expression upon your face.

But he also pictured Bucky, where would his best friend be in that scenario? Could the three of you really work something out?

He couldn’t make up his mind, all he knew was that he wanted the best for both of you no matter what. So he pulled away from you still plagued with indecision. You felt his struggle but were unaware of his thoughts when he was about to walk away.

“You are terrible at goodbyes, you know that?” You told him with a smirk. He turned back and returned your smile before making his way back to you.

“I know. I’m sorry. Just trying to focus on the job” he lied, though he didn’t really mean to. “Let me make it up to you” he said as he pulled you in for a kiss.

This wasn’t like your other kisses. This one felt desperate filled with so many emotions you couldn’t decipher. He wrapped one hand to the back of your neck while the other went to your lower back to press your body closer to his. You supported yourself by clutching his shoulder with your left hand as your lips and tongues kept saying their farewells even if it was just for a moment.

“Uh...Cap Bruce is waiting on you” Sam interrupted with a look of shock and confusion on his face. He still didn’t know there was something between the two of you. You and Steve separated slowly hardly paying attention to him.

Before Steve walked off he gave you another smile, this one was genuine, filled with adoration.

You and Sam followed closed behind as Bruce walked him through what he had to do. Sam had offered to go with him, but he declined. You could feel Bucky staring so you glanced in his direction giving him a shy smile which he returned as Steve walked back towards him. You stayed by the platform to give them space, but this time you heard their conversation.

“Don’t do anything stupid til I get back.” Steve said with a playful smirk while Bucky shook his head with a sad chuckle. You wondered to yourself why he seemed so somber.

“How can I. You’re taking all the stupid with you” they quickly clasped each other.

Then Bucky said something you couldn’t hear. He seemed to whisper it. But you managed to hear Steve’s response though.

“It’s gonna be okay Buck” he responded then he walked on the platform.

You guessed Bucky was just as worried as you were about Steve going by himself. You moved closer to Bucky as Sam stood on your other side. Sam asked Bruce how long it would take. He mentioned that it would only be five seconds for the rest of you.

Steve had turned to face the three of you while Bruce ask if he was ready.

Once he put his helmet on he gave Bucky a meaningful look then kept his eyes on you as Bruce counted down and he was gone.

Immediately after Bruce began the countdown for his return, those five seconds were teeming with anxiety for you.

About an extra second passed when Sam asked Bruce something you didn’t hear because all you could do was worry.

_‘Why didn’t Steve come back?’_

You vaguely noted Sam and Bruce’s back and forth. Then you heard Bucky grab Sam’s attention while you were still frozen to your spot waiting for Steve.

Did something happen to him? Was he hurt?

He needed to comeback. You still hadn’t told him about your child. You were planning to after his short trip.

Suddenly it was quiet and you looked where the other three’s eyes were.

Sam and Bucky approached an old man sitting on a bench in the distance. Right away you knew who it was but you remained in denial. That wasn’t your Steve, he was coming back.

“ _I’m not leaving you behind_.” You remembered your runs with him, those specific words.

You recalled the time he found you at the hotel “ _open the door”_ he said.

_“I am not leaving you”_ he told you once again.

Then there was the time you finally confessed your feelings for one another.

“ _I love you so much”_ those were his words to you.

Was it a lie?

It felt so real to you.

Maybe he was still on his way. He probably got caught up in something.

And then there was that moment before the heist.

“ _I promise_ _I will come_ _back_ _to_ _you_ ”

Steve wouldn’t lie to you.

But he did...you had to accept it. It was a lie.

And then you remembered the biggest one of all.

“ _I promise everything will be fine._ _We’ll figure it out together and make it work somehow_ _. I love you.”_

_**‘** _ _**FUCKING LIAR!’** _ you screamed in your mind and ran off. You didn’t know it at the time but Bruce and Bucky, who were standing closest to you, heard your unintentional psychic scream.

Bruce called after you but you kept running with tears streaming down your face. Bucky heard you while he watched Sam and Steve’s conversation from a distance. He turned just in time to watch you run between some trees. Bruce was about to go after you before Bucky told him he’d handle it.

You don’t know how many times you stumbled as you ran. Your missing arm wasn’t helping which infuriated you even more. Then you fell barely managing to catch yourself with your remaining arm. You landed on your knees, laughing bitterly at your situation.

Your boyfriend abandoned you while you were carrying his child and you never got to tell him about it.

You also still mourned for Natasha, who was one of the most important people in your life.

Plus to top it all off there was the physical and emotional trauma of the lost of your right arm. Could this get any worse?

You heard someone call your name but you refused to look up. Your tears just kept pouring freely from your eyes. Running down your face and onto your clothes and the dirt beneath you.

You hated Steve...and you hated yourself.

All of a sudden someone wrapped you in their arms.

You felt his arms one soft flesh the other hard metal underneath his jacket. You didn’t look at him, just kept crying your eyes out on his chest while he rubbed your back and kissed your head.

He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have too.

Bucky always knew what you needed and right now you needed him more than anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know maybe some of you were hoping for more deviation from the original source and so was I to be honest. But I gotta admit I felt like the Reader after our Captain left us (maybe not angry, really sad though) and I wanted to express this.  
> After that film, I was like damn Steve you just left me and all your boyfriends (Bucky, Sam, Tony). What happened to all our years together? lol But it was nice he got a happy ending. Tony and Nat devastated me though, it still haunts me to this day :(  
> However I will say there is still that other universe the Soul Stone told you about, who knows you might get to go there ;D


	10. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky find closure but not without shedding plenty more tears.

The day Steve didn’t return was the day he died for you. Just like he did for the rest of the world. Bucky and Sam told you Old Steve wanted to explain himself to you but you refused to have any contact with him.

More days passed and finally you were fitted with your new arm.

Shuri had given you three distinct options to choose from. One was almost identical to Bucky’s, while the other two were entirely gold or silver. All three Vibranium obviously. She also mentioned she’d have other designs for you with natural looks that matched your skin.

_“_ _T_ _his one_ _is_ _perfect.”_ you replied choosing the one that matched Bucky’s. It was like having a piece of him with you at all times. He smiled at your choice as he stood next to you during your deliberation. The cybernetic arms were almost identical except yours had some hidden enhancements his didn’t. Shuri being her genius self had to make improvements from her previous versions no doubt.

A few days after that meeting you had pulled Bucky aside to have a long overdue conversation. You were still at the tower sleeping in different bedrooms. And you began by telling him that you were expecting a child. Of course you didn’t have to elaborate, he already knew it was Steve’s.

What he didn’t know was how to process this information so he remained silent as you both sat on your bed.

“I get it...if you want nothing to do with me anymore. I even get if you hate me James...it’s okay, I deserve it.” You told him, attempting to hold back tears as they welled in your eyes.

“How can you say ‘it’s okay’? And what kind of man do you take me for?”

He said your name filled with sadness.

“...don’t you get that I love you. I’m never leaving you” he stared at you intently while you shook your head and chuckled bitterly at him.

“You know that’s exactly what Steve said and look where he is now.”

You knew it was a low blow to remind him of your time with his best friend, but right now you just wanted to push him away, you’d been trying to since Steve left.

“Well I’m not him, I told him he was an idiot for thinking of leaving you! And yeah a part of me wanted you all for myself, but I knew if he left it would devastate you! I told him to stay but that dumb-ass didn’t listen!” he realized he was shouting now, so he took a breathe and ran his right hand through his hair before he continued to speak.

“Look, I’m sorry for yelling, but you’ve gotta understand that I’m here right now. You don’t need to push me away anymore. _Please trust me._ ” He whispered the last three words as you burst into tears.

You felt like all you did was cry for the last five years, when was this going to end.

“The thing is...I don’t deserve you Buck. I never have...and what you just said proves it even further. I am having your best friend’s child and you’re just willing to accept me. You’re just so...perfect...I can’t.” You couldn’t think of another word to describe him in this moment and you also couldn't bring yourself to speak further as you began to sob.

Suddenly Bucky was the one who laughed bitterly this time, which calmed your sobs a bit as you looked at him confused.

“You don’t know how many times I’ve told myself the same thing. Damn…” he repeated your name while he grabbed your right hand and interlocked his metal fingers with yours. Then his eyes met yours with great earnestness.

“I guess we’re mirror images of each other. And if I’m perfect, then so are you.” He never broke his intense gaze before continuing.

“We’re perfect together, admit it” he gave you a smirk at the end and you couldn't help but smile through your tears.

“ _That’s my girl_ ” he pulled you onto his lap and held you until you fell asleep in his arms.

* * *

Bucky had never felt anger towards Steve but that day he left, he knew his best pal was going to cause you pain. Old Steve wanted to remain in contact with Bucky, however the latter refused.

After your conversation you made him promise not to tell anyone about your baby for now. Especially the Steve that returned or rather was here all along you assumed, to which he agreed to.

The Steve that left wasn’t the same one that was around now, so Bucky began to mourn him as well. Sam, Bruce, and eventually Tony were the only ones who knew about and had contact with Old Steve.

Now weeks flew by and Sam contacted you to tell you about Steve’s now empty apartment. Since his supposed death to the public. Steve had offered it to Sam but he decided to stick with the rest of you at the tower. So yours and Steve’s things were moved to a local storage. At first you didn’t want to go through with it. Yet you knew sooner or later you’d have to face whatever was waiting for you there.

As you dug through boxes with Bucky and Sam, finding your belongings and anything they wanted to keep for themselves, you came across a small jewelry box. You were almost afraid to open it, fearing what was inside and what memories it would bring.

But it was now or never.

You flipped it open as if you were ripping off a band-aid and there it was, one of the most beautiful pieces of jewelry you had ever seen. It was an engagement ring, one you would have worn proudly.

Just your style, he knew you so well.

You started to feel your sadness creeping up again, but then you saw Bucky looking at you and the ring.

“Guess he really did take all the stupid with him.” Bucky chuckled at your comment as Sam glanced up at both of you confused.

“I really hope so. What are you gonna do with it?” Your now loving boyfriend asked.

“Hmm…pawn it?” you shrugged with a smirk.

“What is it?” Sam asked and you tossed the closed box at him.

“Oh shit...damn. I’m sorry I told you to come over” Sam apologized. By now he knew of the love triangle the two of you were in with Steve. You told him it was alright while you continued rummaging for your things and insisted he keep it. He didn’t argue with you and just accepted it.

Sam and Bucky ended up taking some things for themselves. You had joked about selling the rest on eBay and making a killing. You had to use humor to distract from the negativity that wanted to come through.

Whatever remained was locked up in it’s own place within the new HQ.

* * *

After that month’s went by and you began to show.

You and Bucky had your own place now. It was an off the grid farmhouse, with several rooms. Both of you had setup a nursery in neutral colors since you still didn’t know the sex of the baby and didn’t want to know yet.

Bucky was already being a great father rubbing your belly and listening and talking to it when he could.

Month’s ago you had established that no matter what he was the father of your child.

At this time Bucky would go on short missions with Sam not wanting to stay away for too long.

You had quit your job as soon as you could after the battle with Thanos. You had also taken a break from classes and just continued to volunteer. You’d mostly counsel veterans and people who suffered severe physical trauma like you. It really helped you come to terms with the loss of your limb.

A couple more month’s passed and you and Bucky received another call from Sam, this time he called about Steve. From what he told you he wasn’t doing well, his age had finally caught up to him.

Steve had asked for you and Bucky, so you both reluctantly agreed to go.

Even though you had told yourself you never wanted to see him again, you knew you needed the closure. He was staying in the Tower in a comfortable and secure room Tony specifically setup for him.

* * *

Entering the room, you couldn’t believe your eyes when you saw him reclined in his bed.

The beautiful and strong symbol that Captain America once was, was now replaced by an old and frail man.

Your heart broke again and you remembered your Steve.

How gorgeous and perfect he was.

His strength and his kind and caring nature, you missed him so much.

You realized now he was still here though, barely holding on to life.

Your eyes welled with tears but he gave you a smile.

“It’s about time you guys...showed up” his voice strained a bit.

“Really Steve, that’s the first thing you say after all this time” Bucky was a bit annoyed that the old man acted like the last few years didn’t happen.

“I was getting...to it...Jerk” he responded with a smirk.

“First off, I really am sorry for any pain I have caused...to both of you. It was never my intention…all I wanted was your happiness. I thought if I took myself out of the picture…you’d have the life you deserve. I never wanted you to choose between us...” He said your name and gave you a sad smile.

“I understand why you did it. But it still doesn’t take the hurt away.” You got closer to him and squeezed his hand gently in both of yours as a tear finally went down your face.

“I know and no matter how much...I apologize...I know it won’t change anything. I just wanted both of you to know...and I hope you can forgive me...someday.” his voice strained a bit more as he spoke.

“I forgive you Steve because I...still love you...not the way it used to be, but your still my family” more tears went down your face as you looked down at him. In that moment, seeing his sincerity and feeling his emotions, you couldn't help but erase the pain he caused you since that day.

“I do too and she’s right, you’re still my brother even though you’re a Punk” Bucky smirked with a tear of his own as Steve smiled with misty eyes.

After that you took a seats next to his bed. He noticed your now obvious baby bump and congratulated the pair of you. You and Bucky just smiled at each, knowing there wasn’t a point in ever telling him the truth now, you both wanted his happiness as well so you all focused on reminiscing on the good old days.

Stories were told about Steve and Bucky before the War and their childhood. They were tales you’d all heard before but they were still pleasant to hear. The stories then became about the three of you. When you all met and how you all spent your time together whether it was having fun, training, or even missions. Then there were stories with the rest of the team. Natasha, Tony, and Sam were the most mentioned.

The sky was dark outside by now and Steve looked a bit tired so you and Bucky decided to leave him to rest. Bucky was putting the chairs you sat on back in their places as you told Steve to rest. You said that you’d both comeback tomorrow and turned to leave.

“And I thought….I was terrible...at goodbyes. You two just gonna leave...an old man...without a proper goodbye.” He smiled with a somnolent expression and you Bucky glanced at each other.

“We’ll be back tomorrow, you should get some rest Pal” Bucky walked back to him and gently clasped his shoulder while you came around his other side.

“Yeah Stevie, we’ll be here when you wake up” you bent over and pressed your lips to his forehead on the brink of tears once more.

When you glanced at each, you and Bucky knew Steve wasn’t doing well. His voice had been straining more throughout the night and he became progressively sluggish. You pulled away and held his hand now.

“I know...I…love you both.”

He languidly closed his eyes and Bucky doubled over pressing his face to Steve’s shoulder in what you knew was a silent cry, while you gripped his hand tighter letting your tears flow freely.

He was really gone now.

Steve Rogers was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie the ending to this chapter made me real sad. Sorry ya'll 😢


	11. Open Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Steve's death you and Bucky continue to move on with your lives like he would have wanted you to.

After his death those of you closest to him held a private funeral. Tony, Sam, and Bruce told the others of Steve’s former existence and recent passing. Some of them were annoyed because they were never told he was still alive. But eventually they ended up accepting all your reasons for not revealing Steve’s status.

Clint, Rhodey, and Wanda already knew by now.

Thor was told the day after his passing and took it very hard, he came as soon as he could along with the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Scott and Peter were some of the last ones to know. They were huge fans of not only Captain America, but Steve Rogers as well.

Carol, T’Challa, Maria Hill and Nick Fury were notified and made their appearances for yet another fallen Avenger.

You had also reached out to Logan the day before the funeral. You thought he probably wouldn’t show. But everyone was there, it was more of a celebration of his life than anything else since most of them had already mourned him along with the public.

However for you and Bucky it was different. You were both constant reminders of Steve to each other. Not to mention his birthday was on the Fourth of July, there was no escaping that.

It was like when you lost Bucky all over again.

A part of you was missing.

If only you could’ve had them both.

You knew it was a selfish thought but you really loved them both.

_‘Maybe in another life’_ you told yourself.

* * *

Several more months passed now and you were mostly adapted to your new arm.

The nursery was all set for your new arrival and Bucky was currently on a mission while Wanda and Clint stayed with you while he was gone.

You were just about ready to pop, any moment now. You were having increased cramps and back pain and feeling extra tired several days before this.

You’re doctor had told you everything was going according to schedule to just relax and be prepared.

For the last few hours you were feeling contractions which you were told were normal for now. Although if they increased in pain, frequency, and intensity it would be a sign it was time.

After you and Wanda kept discussing baby names after probably the hundredth time, you got up to join her and Clint in the kitchen. The two of them had been spending a lot of time together, consoling each other over their loses.

When you reached the room’s threshold you felt a sudden sharp pain that made you cry out and felt something warm running down your legs.

Your water had broke.

Instantly they were by your side. Wanda was calm since she had already planned for this. More than anything she was excited as she called the others to notify them. Clint was a bit jumpy, he had decided to stay on standby in case this situation arose so he immediately took you to the Quinjet that was parked outside and he and Wanda got you on board.

By the time you arrived at your destination, Tony was already there with Pepper, they had everything setup. You and Pepper told him all of this wasn’t necessary but he said he only wanted the best for his family. Later Rhodey and Bruce showed while Wanda and Pepper stayed with you in your room.

Your contractions were being timed by Pepper while Wanda distracted you and a nurse got everything ready for the doctor.

Bucky and Sam were still a no show and the pain was getting more excruciating, if that was even possible.

Finally it was time now, you were splayed out as the doctor told you to push.

Then without warning Bucky and Sam came barreling through the door. The doctor told you to focus, grabbing your attention once again.

“You got this Man” Sam quickly slapped Bucky on the shoulder and bolted back where he came from. Wanda pulled Bucky towards you and then left with Pepper to give you both more privacy.

He was wide eyed and frozen as he watched you push, strain, and cry out. Then suddenly he offered his right hand to you. He figured he might as well experience a fragment of your pain, seeing the death grip you had on the bed railing. He was sure there was a dent were you clutched on with your right hand. He was lucky he wasn’t holding that one because even though you weren’t as strong as him he knew you would’ve crushed his flesh hand in your metal one. More minutes passed as you continued with your labor, when suddenly you heard someone scream in your mind.

**‘FUCK! WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!’** As your pain seized a bit for a moment you looked to your left and saw Bucky with his head bowed and anguished expression on his face, he was feeling your pain.

**‘Sorry’** it was all you could respond. Although you felt bad for him you also thought it was amusing that he was experiencing childbirth as well, you wanted to laugh but the pain began intensify once again.

**‘...t’s** **s** **...okay… it’s okay. Keep going…’** he projected to you as the doctor told you to give another push, he hissed as you cried out.

* * *

They had already cleaned you and the baby up and you held it in your arms while Bucky kissed your temple as he sat watching you both with adoration.

You were both told that he was a healthy boy and informed the others waiting outside.

He was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.

You and the baby had to stay for observation for at least another day. So everyone went back to their hotel rooms near the hospital to await tomorrow’s possible introductions.

The next day you were told you were healing exceedingly well. It was a bit odd for the medical professionals but they just assumed it had to do with the fact you were enhanced. The baby was doing exceptional as well, that was probably because his father was a super soldier.

After you fed him and had your own breakfast with Bucky. The two of you walked out as Bucky gently cradled your son in his arms. The three of you were met with whispers of congratulations from the rest of the family.

“Are you finally going to tell us his name?” Wanda spoke up and Bucky gave you a smirk, telling you to go on.

“Everyone...meet Steven James Barnes” you announced and suddenly they all erupted in cheers until Wanda told them to shut up. Tony, Clint, Sam, Rhodey, and Bruce looked sheepish after she scolded them.

You had settled on the name the previous night. It was only fair that he would be named after both of his fathers. It was a way to honor Steve and Bucky couldn’t agree more.

* * *

A few years after that you all went your separate ways. Some of the Avengers retired while others kept up the good fight. Even some Mutants and Inhumans joined their ranks later on.

Bucky had stayed with the Avengers for several years. As for you, you decided to dedicate most of your time to raising Stevie, and opened up your own counseling center after you finally earned your Masters and eventually your Doctorate degree.

Life was good.

You finally had the life you wanted and you were finally Mrs. Barnes or Dr. Barnes to your clients. The wedding had taken place about a year after Steven’s birth.

It was a simple affair. You both decided on small ceremony, that was held in your expansive backyard. Tony of course insisted on covering the costs while Wanda, Hope, and Pepper helped with the planning. Your dress was beautiful and tailored perfectly to you. You also decided to wear the new realistic prosthetic arm Shuri made you for this special occasion.

Wanda and Sam served as Maid of Honor and Best Man respectively. They both knew they would not have been your first choices so they took it as an immense honor and both went out of their way for the pair of you. Bruce was ordained so he gladly officiated over the ceremony. And after much debating it was settled that Thor would walk you down the aisle. Your other options, Tony and Clint figured it would be best he did since he was gone so much. You all wanted him to feel that he was still part of the Avenger family, which of course he still was.

There were very few people as you walked down aisle. Peter came alone and sat next to Shuri who was also by herself. Rhodey and Sam also flew solo because they respected your choice to have an intimate wedding. Clint sat in the front watching Wanda and saving her seat next to him. Scott, Hope, and Cassie sat together while Tony held Stevie as he sat with Morgan and Pepper. Those that didn’t make it sent their congratulations and gifts.

As for Bucky, he looked incredibly handsome in his suit. He reminded you of the way he looked during the 1940s from the pictures you’d seen in the history books. He had cut his hair and got a fresh shave.

You had butterflies in your stomach that only got worse as you approached him feeling his nerves and excitement as well.

Once Thor left you before Bucky, he took his seat and the ceremony commenced. Bruce never missed a beat giving a beautiful speech and you and Bucky delivered your own vows. After Wanda and Sam handed the rings over you placed them on each others left hands and said _“I do.”_

Luckily your now husband wore his more human-like prosthetic, that Shuri gifted him days before to fit the ring. When ever he switched to his other arm he’d wear the ring on his right.

Days later, after much insistence from the others you and Bucky went on your honeymoon. Both of you were apprehensive to leave Stevie behind. However Wanda and Clint, who were dating now, assured you he would be fine in their care. Plus you guys figured it would be good practice for them if they decided to ever go that route and from the looks of it they were. Those two were inseparable lately.

Tony once again decided to cover all transportation and expenses. The pair of you didn’t even bother to turn his offer down. You both knew he would get his way no matter what.

The location you both chose was amazing and the time you spent together was even better. You could barely keep your hands off each other, though you did go out exploring from time to time.

After your return your lives went back to normal...at first. You spent your time with your baby boy while doing sessions online with your patients. Bucky spent as much time as he could with both of you, but he still went out on missions, however they were few.

Weeks after your blissful vacation a familiar sensation returned to you. This time you did not hesitate to confirm your suspicions.

You were expecting once again.

It wasn’t really something the pair of you had planned for, but you both really did get carried away during that honeymoon.

About nine month’s later George Wilson Barnes was born. Named after Bucky’s father and Sam of course. You had really wanted a girl because you already knew who you were naming her after but you loved your second baby boy no matter what. Two years later Natalia Rebecca Barnes was born. She was beautiful just like the women she was named after.

You had always felt uneasy about raising children in this world. But with Bucky and your remaining friends and family at your side you felt hopeful for the first time in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I wasn't going to name the kids but I decided to since they will be mentioned again. If you don't like the names just pretend their whatever you want :D  
> Also Clint was going to be the one to walk you down the aisle but I made a last minute change cause I just still feel bad for Thor, I guess.


	12. Believer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life moves forward and yours and Bucky's children continue to grow. Along with others they become the future's hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this can be considered the final chapter, however there is one more. That one is a bit tragic though and leads to a possible sequel. This one is the happy ending that ignores the conversation with the Soul Stone. I tried my best here, hope you enjoyed, and thank you for coming along this ride.

The day Steve Rogers left, you felt like he took a part of you. However looking back on it now he gave you more than you could have asked for. He gave you your son and the future he wanted for you and Bucky.

As Stevie grew you both told him about his biological father. You and Bucky always recounted stories about Steve, the real Steve Rogers, not Captain America like he was learning about in the history books at school.

You could tell he felt some resentment because he never got to meet his _real_ father. Yet he knew that it was all just a series of unfortunate circumstances but he couldn’t help feeling like Steve abandoned him. He also wanted to blame you for not telling his father about him. But in the end he understood.

It was truly no ones fault. As far as he was concerned he had two fathers.

The boy also constantly reminded you of both your soldiers. He had their strength and courage and was very kind and protective with his younger siblings.

He had actual extraordinary strength and resilience due to his father’s biology. And unlike yourself he did not inherit the X-Gene which didn’t surprise any of you because no mutants had been born since 2004.

However as he got older, you all found out the hard way about his ability to teleport which eventually turned to time travel of all things.

He had gone missing for two days and you and Bucky were terrified that Hydra or any of your other enemies had taken him. It happened when he was about 8 years old.

The source of his abilities was unknown at first, but before the time travel incident Stephen Strange invited you along with Stevie to the New York Sanctum. He confirmed your son’s powers were bestowed upon him by the Infinity Stones. He further explained that when you used them, you created an alternate reality since it was originally supposed to be Tony who wielded them. He warned against the use of time travel although you had no idea what he was talking about, Stevie had only teleported to different locations so far.

The Sorcerer Supreme also really insisted on finding a way to control your son’s abilities and luckily Tony eventually developed a device that would help control when and where he could travel. It was a similar device to the ones the team used during the Time Heist years ago.

The rest was left to you. You had asked Stevie what happened when his powers activated. He replied that he was thinking about his father. He said he ended up in New York City but it wasn’t like the times he’d gone before. He was terrified because there were monsters all around in the streets and flying in the air. Then he realized it was the Battle of New York which he had heard about before.

He was in the middle of a street about to get attacked when Captain America jumped in front of him with his shield saving his life. The Captain took him to safety near some officers asking them to find his parents. But Stevie knew he wasn’t supposed to be there. He managed to get away from the police officers, so he could try to make his way back home.

Later on he saw you there too, but that had to be wrong you told him. You were never in New York at that time, you were Hydra’s captive. He went on saying that he tried calling out for you at that time but you couldn't hear him.

So kept he wandering the streets, miraculously unharmed until he saw the familiar window of a building he had been in years later, and knocked on its door.

He continued on mentioning that a bald lady who called herself the Ancient One took him in until he was able to use his power and return back to his own time.

As for George and Natalia they also didn’t inherit your Mutant Gene, for the most part they were normal...except they really weren’t. They inherited Bucky’s enhanced abilities.

* * *

You had many blissful years with your husband and three children. Who would’ve thought you would end up here? You sure as hell didn’t.

Of course there were ups and downs for all of you, like all normal families. But you all truly loved one another. You and Bucky never seemed to lose that spark you always had. You were always attracted to each other like magnets.

For the most part your three kids were well behaved although they had their moments like any normal children.

Stevie, was always mature for his age. You and him always had a special bond. You weren’t sure if it was because he was your first born. But he often liked spending time with you unlike boys his age, his younger brother also liked teasing him for this.

He was a bit shy and very artistic. When you and Bucky noticed his talent, you dug up Steve’s old sketchbooks from storage and gave them to him.

He really was like Steve’s clone. Looking almost exactly like him, same eyes, nearly the same face, and same body build. One of the most noticeable features he got from you was his hair color and texture.

The only times he ever got in trouble was for defending his friends or siblings from bullies. Bucky had to teach him how to hold back his strength to keep him from injuring anyone, he did the same for your other children.

Georgie was also a spitting image of his father. He had most of Bucky’s facial features and their hair was just the same. He inherited your eyes though. And like his older brother he was always a pretty responsible and practical child, and you thanked whatever higher power there was for that. He loved teasing his brother about being a mama’s boy but out of your three children he was the most affectionate towards you.

Growing up he also spent a lot of time training with his Uncle Sam learning to use his wings and got very good at flying with them. Before that Sam would take both your infant boys to pick up women at the park. Eventually Georgie became somewhat of a ladies man himself just like his dad was in his early days.

Besides being a natural at flying, he had quite the musical talent and also enjoyed sports. Bucky would sometimes take the boys to baseball games and go camping with them, often you and your youngest would join them as well.

Natalia however was more interested in intellectual pursuits. Since a young age she favored reading and science. She often liked taking things apart to see how they worked. But unlike her brother’s she was more of a free-spirit and often rebellious. Out of your three children she was the most likely to bump heads with you. However when it came down to it, you were always the first person she’d call for help and she’d never stayed mad at you. Of course she was _daddy’s little girl_ and Bucky was usually hesitant to discipline her when she got out of line, albeit it was rare.

She also had a great sense of humor and was quite popular, especially with the boys much to Bucky’s displeasure. She was very beautiful too, inheriting her father’s eyes and his softer features while the rest was the best from you. And even though she was able to handle herself against unwanted attention, her brother’s were quite overprotective when it came to her.

You were glad the three of them got along well. They had their fair share of arguments like most siblings do but in the end they always made up. The five of you fit together like a team. You were your own little wolf pack. The five of you always found time for each other and life was wonderful for a long time.

* * *

As more years passed many Avengers retired or passed away either on the job or from natural causes. Now there were young and new Avengers, some were children of the former heroes.

After Sam gave up the mantle of Captain America to return to being Falcon, he had passed it to Bucky. As time passed though Bucky knew the Captain’s Shield had to go to someone who was worthier than him, in his mind. So then came the day he passed it to the only person he believed it truly belong to...his son Steven J. Barnes.

George became the next Falcon after Sam officially retired. Sam never had children of his own because he dedicated most his life to being an Avenger, however he was proud to hand his title to the young man that was named after him. It was like it was meant to be.

As for Natalia she spent most of her life building things with Tony, Morgan, and Shuri. So she became adept at making her own things and with some help from those other three geniuses she created a suit of her own. She was known as the Onyx Wolf, combining her intellect with Natasha’s Black Widow and her father’s White Wolf persona.

Clint and Wanda had their twins Tamsin and Willa Barton, who were all grown up just like your three children. The girls inherited Pietro and Wanda’s abilities. Tamsin who had her uncle’s powers was known as Speed while her sister was called Wiccan.

Morgan who now lead these new Avengers became Iron Maiden following in the footsteps of her legendary father. Harley Keener who was also one of Tony’s protégés and one of the most senior members became Iron Lad. As for Cassie Lang she was known as Stature and was also one of the older members of this new group.

They were the team now along with many others. And seeing all these new Avengers in action made you believe that the future...your future was in safe hands for many more generations to come. The world was moving forward regardless of how many times any of you were knocked down and life was brimming with hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd just like to add that most of these characters do not belong to me. The Reader and her children are my originals as well as the Barton twins. Regarding the hero personas, I can only take credit for Onyx Wolf, I believe no one else possesses this name within Marvel. Everyone else already exists in Marvel whether in comics or MCU.


	13. In The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Finale. Your world seems to crumble yet there is still hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the official ending but as I said the previous one can be your ending if you choose so. Since I planned to write a sequel this is how I'm tying up to it. This chapter was heavily influenced by a certain event from Marvel Comics so it's an AU of it.  
> Also fair warning there is lots of death up ahead though its not graphic. This all takes place far into the future so your children are adults and the Avengers are really old.

That was your life, your memories. You had years of happiness with Bucky and your children.

Of course all good things must come to an end.

Everything comes to an end.

We have to face it sooner or later.

The young Avengers tried but soon the retired ones had to join them on the battlefront once the new threat arrived.

No one was prepared.

Whatever it was, it came out of nowhere.

And it was coming after you. You could feel it. It even felt familiar to you...like you knew it somehow.

It was attracted to mutants and their power. When it took Franklin, the son of Reed and Susan Richards of the Fantastic Four, the group joined the fight.

The Mutants were the first to fall. This being absorbed their abilities and their lives as well. Now there were only a handful of you left and none of you could do anything to stop it. It was up to the non-mutant Avengers, both old and new, to stop this creature.

The entity looked like a man and it wore a robust armor that was almost impenetrable. Its power was tremendous especially when it absorbed the Mutants. You all needed a way to weaken it’s armor but no one had the sufficient strength to even leave a dent.

Bruce had suggested separating his personas and letting the Hulk take complete control, but in order to do this he needed your assistance. You had to probe his mind and lock Dr. Banner away to let the Hulk do his thing. Without his human side Bruce knew the Hulk would be able to reach the level of power you all needed to defeat the enemy.

The others had to standby because of the creature’s extraordinary ability to manipulate metal which was similar to the former Mutant terrorist Erik Lensherr, but the man had died years ago so this couldn’t have been him.

The few X-Men who were still alive tried to find hidden files Charles Xavier kept that regarded how to defeat or disable most mutants he came across. He felt it was necessary to keep these archives in case one of his fellow mutants got out of hand, which happened a lot before governments started intervening.

You couldn't even help them track the files because Bucky had ordered Steven to keep you as far away from the battle as possible since the creature had attempted to make telepathic contact with you several times before. Although it could have attacked you with its mental intrusion for some unknown reason it didn’t, yet your husband refused to risk your life. So after you assisted the Hulk regain control, Steven took you far away from the Onslaught. Which was what the entity became known as.

As the Hulk took on the mysterious individual he grew more and more enraged only adding to his savage power. Eventually he was able to rip apart the adversary’s armor, but the action resulted in a massive psionic explosion that caused Hulk and Bruce to separate from each other and rendering them both unconscious.

The being was now exposed however it was immune to physical damage so Thor took it upon himself to fly into the energy mass that now surrounded it. Immediately the God summoned his lightning, disrupting the energy field momentarily. The others now knew they had to act quickly.

Reed Richards had already looked through the Mutant files and made a swift assessment of possible ways to take Onslaught down. He came to the conclusion that if the being absorbed any non-mutants it would be vulnerable to harm.

With this information the Fantastic Four along with the now elder Avengers Tony, Rhodey, Sam, Scott, Hope, T’Challa, Clint, and Bucky went into the energy field joining Bruce who was already waking up inside. The ones with children told them to stand down. However some of the children refused to listen. Natalia and Cassie jumped in after their fathers. In turn George reluctantly flew in after his rebellious sister. The other adult children wanted to go but they obeyed their elders.

Morgan and Harley stayed on the sidelines with Pepper, all armored and worrying for Tony and the others. Wanda and her twins stayed further away with the remaining X-Men not wanting to risk their powers being absorbed, and ready to jump in if it came down to it. Stephen Strange was there as well but he did not join the others in the energy field.

Everyone who entered the energy mass was now absorbing Onslaught’s power, leaving it weaker by the minute, but it wasn’t enough.

Soon those who stood on the outside began to attack from a distance. Strange alerted Wanda and the Mutants to join them. Anyone that could attack from afar did. Rescue, Iron Maiden, and Iron Lad blasted away with their beams as the Sorcerer Supreme, the Scarlet Witch, and Wiccan, did their thing while a few X-Men assailed with their gifts as well.

The result of the combined strike was another massive explosion.

* * *

During the battle all you could do was fret, there was absolutely nothing more you could do. As much as you and your oldest wanted to join the rest of your family and friends you knew it was for the best. Onslaught had some sort of fixation with mutants but especially with you and Franklin Richards. When it arrived you sensed each other and you became aware of its intention. It wanted to get close to you, wanted you to become a part of it. It wanted all the mutants. But it didn’t stop there. It wanted only the mutants it didn’t care for anyone else. Its power would continue to grow even if it got to all of the mutants.

So there you were hundreds of miles away waiting for word from anyone about the aftermath of the fight. The fate of your husband and other two children constantly crossed your mind. They had to be okay. They had to be alive. This world couldn't take more from you. It couldn't take them away.

As Steven sat next to you holding your hand, he received a call from Harley. You didn’t hear the conversation but you knew it was grim. You sensed the way your son’s emotions plummeted, though he was trying to hide it from you.

You asked him what was wrong. He only said that Harley told him the enemy was gone but the ending result was real bad. So then you ordered him to teleport you over to them right away.

Upon arrival your emotions took a severe hit and you saw all the tearful faces. Pepper and Morgan were inconsolable while Wanda cried with her daughters.

You looked around for Bucky, Natalia, and George. You tried to feel them with your mind, but there was nothing only silence. Then everyone’s emotions came rushing back to you. You collapsed on the ground sobbing uncontrollably. Steven knelt beside you hugging you to him as he shed some tears himself.

Finding out you lost your husband and children shattered your soul. Knowing George and Natalia died, you thought your life was over. It felt like there was nothing left. Even though they were adults, they were still your babies. You had felt no greater pain in your life than when you couldn't feel their presence anymore.

And how could life be more cruel?

By taking him not once.

But twice from you.

Your love, Bucky was gone and he was never going to return again.

Then the realization hit you that your other family members were gone as well. Most of the Avengers were gone. Tony, Clint, Rhodey, Bruce, Sam, and Thor were like brothers to you. And T’Challa, Scott, Hope, and Cassie were going to be missed by not only those of you present, but also by the families they left behind.

They all took a piece of you.

But even through all the hurt you had to keep going, Steven was still alive and you were going to protect him no matter the cost. You would have given your life without question for your other children and husband as well, but the situation was impossible. The world lost most of its heroes that day.

* * *

Yet there was still hope as unbelievable as it was.

Steven was the only thing that gave you life and made you want to fight for it.

Dr. Strange was among the remaining Avengers and right after the mass explosion he managed to pull Franklin Richards along with other Mutants from the Astral Plane, where Onslaught had kept them. You all thought maybe the others would be there too. This gave you all a sliver of hope, however it was soon dashed. According to the Sorcerer there was no one else that you all sought within the astral plane.

He also informed you that this wasn’t the only threat your world would face. There were more to come and he swore he’d do his part. But this time he urged you to go to that other reality, the one your son visited when he was young. He said there was still a chance to save this one, but it would take forces from others for this one to survive.

* * *

You had lost most of the people you loved and if there was a chance you could save your world and those who remained in it you were going to take it.

You and your son were given very vague instructions on what your next steps were. Strange had faith that you’d both figured it out on your own.

You were now in another time and place.

This wasn’t your universe, your world, or your reality.

You had long forgotten about your time in the Soul Stone all those years ago, but somehow you remembered it when you ended up here.

The Soul Stone was right your universe was doomed.

That was just one of the lesser threats you had lost most of your family to. What would happen when the greater ones came?

So here you were standing face to face with your eldest child on the precipice...of a new world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and staying to the end of the line! Feel free to let me know if you enjoyed!


End file.
